EverydayAverageLife

mission statement

2010-08-16T18:48:00.000-07:00

after reading a post on another blog about how a mission statement and defining core values helped define the bloggers purpose and goals, i decided it might be something i should do too. if you know me at all, or have been following the blog for a while, you can probably see a thread of aimlessness and lack of concrete direction in my life. there are so many things i am passionate about and so many things that i would love to do. i feel oppressed by the daily grind and the obligation to hold down a regular job in order to pay bills and such. there will always be bills to pay, and there will always be opportunities to serve others. so how do i find a balance? how do i know which opportunity or obligation i should follow first? how do the demands of everyday life line up with meeting my goals, and what do they look like against the priorities and values i know God has placed in my life?

so far, other than prayer and reading scripture, i haven't had a way to say 'yes, this lines up with my goals and values' or 'no, this doesn't have a place in my life right now because it does not line up with my goals and values' because i hadn't evaluated my goals and values! of course i believe that every decision we make should be bathed in prayer; but there are some times (i believe) when God says 'I have told you what you should be doing, you don't need to be asking me. I have made it clear'. it would be like noah asking God 'so, God, should i go to the lumber store today or should i hang out at starbucks?'. noah should know the answer. God gave him very clear directions. i feel like this is what my vision and mission statements are, as well as defining those core values that really get to the core of the passions God has placed in my heart. the importance of these statements is also why i say 'matter' after each of my core values. to me, it reinforces the notion that these things are big, substantial, meaningful, leading, defining statements. there is no guessing what i value.

please remember that these are things God has laid on MY heart. i am not saying that you should do this very exercise tonight and it should be just like mine. of course i think some of them would be beneficial for all people since they are rooted in scripture, but i am not here to convict you or put words in God's mouth.

without further ado:

vision statement:
to live a simple, intentional, outwardly facing life in order to share God's love, healing, truth and plan with the world.
1 Thess 4:11, 1 Tim 2:2, Micah 6:8, Titus 2:3-5, 11-13

mission statement:
living simply through wise financial stewardship and self sustainability; being intentional in hospitality, giving, and disciplined in time management; giving to people and organizations out of my abundance or sacrifice, that they may have the tools they need to change their life or others'; pursuing education in order to develop skills that will help others, leading them to the saving knowledge of Jesus through his physical and spiritual healing.

core values:

Personal Time Matters (Ps. 23:2; Zeph. 3:17; 1 Peter 3:3-5)

Must happen every day
Separate from devotions
For reflection, relaxation and decompression

Hospitality Matters (Prov. 31:20, Rom 13:8)

Friends, family, ministry
Open door philosophy

Home Organization and Routine Matter (Prov. 6:6-8, 21:5, 31:21-22 & 27; 1 Thes 4:11)

Lessens anxiety by providing a framework for home management
Creates an inviting environment for hospitality
Prepares for marriage and family management

Giving and Social Justice Matters (James 1:22; Prov. 31:8-9, 20, Ps 10:17-18, 33:5, 140:12; Micah 6:8, Lev. 19:9-18; Deut. 24:17)

Giving of finances, time, materials or other support to individuals or organizations
Supporting those who stand up for justice (voting, prayer)

Health Matters (Gen. 1:26-27; Ps. 139:13-14; Prov. 3:5-7)

Diet, exercise, sleep
Honoring God and seeking Him first in medical treatment

Stewardship Matters (Matt. 6:24; Prov. 14:29, 21:20, 22:7, 31:27; 1 Cor. 13:11; Gen. 1:31)

Financial
Time
Earth

some of the verses, if you looked them up, would seem a little 'odd' to be placed with their particular subjects. that's okay, because i know why i put it there :) that's the benefit of it being mine!

i already feel much more calmed in my spirit, knowing that i have some foundations laid for myself. i feel like i can really establish myself as an individual with a great calling and purpose, not a wanderer.

i am so thankful that God laid this out, and that he guided my thoughts as i worked through this. i hope to revisit this once a year and add, tweek, remove whatever needs changing in order to bring it in line with where God has me at that time.

experiments in fermentation

2010-08-06T00:56:00.000-07:00

thanks to nourishing traditions and wild fermentation, i got up the courage to do my first lacto-fermentation projects! i had extra cabbage and beets from my csa, so i decided to make kimchi (korean sour kraut) and sour beets.

a primer in lacto-fermentation:
lacto-fermentation is a food preservation method that our ancestors used before conventional hot water bath/pressure cooker canning methods came to be. it uses an acid in the form of whey, vinegar, kefir or salt to inhibit the growth of bad bacteria while allowing good bacteria such as lactobacilli to grow and preserve the food. lactobacilli and his gang of bacteria friends are a wonderful bunch. they promote a healthy immune system, improve digestion and help to keep the balance of good/bad bacteria and yeasts in check in our bodies. God designed our bodies to be a certain pH level and have enough good bacteria in our GI tract to fight disease and keep us healthy. a conventional western diet, unfortunately, does not provide the opportunity for good bacteria to gain the advantage and the pH level gets to levels that are unhealthy (side note: we are talking about tenths of a percent difference here. it might not seem like much of a difference to go from 7.45 to 7.55, but a change like this can have huge consequences for the human body. THIS is how intricately God designed our bodies!). add in our frequent use of antibiotics in health care and in food (this article shows the usda and fda have recently conceded that antibiotics used in livestock DOES effect humans upon consumption), we are constantly killing our bodies natural defenses against disease and discomfort.

since increasing the amount of probiotics in my diet through raw milk, raw homemade yogurt and milk kefir, water kefir, kombucha and cultured butter, my former (almost debilitating) GI health issues are gone! i feel so much better and can eat so many more foods than i used to be able to. my former gallbladder issues have vanished. i can consume dairy without the lactose intolerance problems i used to battle. i feel like a freed woman! praise God!

okay, on to the food.

i looked up the kimchi recipe in wild fermentation and went to work getting everything chopped and ready. tell ya what, cooking sometimes calls for getting creative with 'working with what you have'. this pic is my bowl of produce weighing down the kimchi vegetables in their brine so that they could get soft. they have to stay under the brine for a few hours to overnight. mine took about an hour actually.

after the vegetables were soft, they could be packed into jars for fermentation and storage. my batch made exactly two quarts worth of kimchi. here's what one looked like:

i didn't get any pics of the beets and carrots that i did, because by that time my kitchen was a mess and my hands looked like i had just committed a felony (i was covered in purple-red beet juice which, to my surprise, did not stain my skin or counter top). i can give you a short recap though. i shredded my beets (yellow and red) along with several carrots. these got mixed with about a tablespoon of salt and then were pounded with a kitchen utensil to get the water out of them. the water mixed with the salt became the brine in which the vegetables would sour/pickle. i added carraway seeds for some flavor then packed it into a small pint sized jelly jar.

i have been tasting the kimchi every day, and i think i like it at day 4. you can ferment it for a week (some koreans ferment it up to six months. no thank you.). it is slightly sour, very tangy and still a bit crunchy. stinky? yes. it's fermented cabbage and onions and garlic. but it's really good if you have a taste for tangy foods.

i have a feeling that there will be more vegetable fermentation in the future. there are recipes for fermented salsas and chutneys that i'd like to try. and of course there will be plenty of beverage fermentation too!

a fun, easy way to get probiotics in your diet...and try a science experiment at the same time :)

katie's kitchen escapades

2010-07-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

where do i begin? i was at work today working very hard of course, (okay, thinking about food) and i got a craving for pf chang's lettuce wraps. have you ever had them? yeah, you know why i got a craving for them! so i went searching (on.my.break.of.course) online for a recipe. i found one at grouprecipes.com that looked pretty good, so i printed it off and took it to whole foods with me to buy missing ingredients. as i was in the asian food section i glanced at the coconut milk and got another craving for my special coconut ice cream. i came up with the recipe a couple of years ago on a whim and it turned out so well. then, i remembered that i needed to get some low sugar pectin for some freezer jam i intended to make. so i headed over to the baking isle and got my pectin and a few other things. a trip that was meant to be a couple of minutes and 3 or 4 items turned into almost a full two weeks shopping trip ( i REALLY try to only shop every two weeks. i don't like grocery stores). with a full evening ahead of me in the kitchen i decided to record my activities so i could have something to show for the evening after all of the food has been consumed :)

pf changs lettuce wraps

here's the recipe. i added about 1 tablespoon of plum sauce and 2 teaspoons of oyster sauce as well. there is a notation on the recipe stating that instead of using chili sauce you could substitute cayenne or chili flakes. i used cayenne since it's what i had, but i used more than the recipe called for. it says to use 1/8 teaspoon, and for me that was not spicy enough so i used about 1/2 teaspoon. i used chicken breast and dark meat instead of the ground chicken, as i had some leftovers in the fridge waiting to be made wonderful :) c'mon it was a free range, natural, organic chicken. n-o-t-h-i-n-g about that chicken goes to waste not even the bones. (see how to use the bones here.)

since my chicken was already cooked, i simply sauteed the onions with some coconut oil in my cast iron pan until they were translucent, then added the chicken and the sauce mixture. waterchestnuts, mushrooms and green onions went in last. smells delicious!!! this was so easy, and really a good summer meal since it doesn't take heating up your entire kitchen.

i had received an adorable, tiny (softball sized) cabbage in my csa delivery last week, so i decided to use it instead of lettuce. good choice, although i think if i did it again i would steam them a minute before using them. the white stringy stuff you see are thin rice noodles. they add a bit of crunch, and the restaurant serves the wraps with them (the recipe did not call for them).

after dinner it was ice cream time!!!

my favorite recipe and flavor of coconut ice cream is the one i made up. i am sure someone else has thought of this too, but i don't know of it so i'll pretend this is all mine :)

2 eggs

2/3 cup sugar - beat the two together until thick and cream colored

2 c heavy or whipping cream

1 can regular coconut milk (using lite coconut milk will change the consistency and flavor of the ice cream)

beat these all together with a mixer, then transfer to your ice cream maker. i have a deni electric ice cream maker that was passed down to me a few years ago from my mom. once it is at a 'soft serve' stage, i add toasted coconut flakes.

the toasting makes them crispy and brings out the flavor so much more. yum. then i transfer it to a plastic container to go in the freezer for a while. after a couple of hours, it is set up enough to be scooped and enjoyed :)

now, for my first ever attempt at raw, lightly sweetened, freezer jam!!

yesterday mia and i went to philbrook farms and picked raspberries and blueberries. they were a buck a pound - you can't beat that unless you get them free from your backyard! i knew i wanted to try my hand at making jam this year after seeing a post on another blog using a simple method of preparing the fruit. i am not a fan of standing over a hot, boiling pot of fruit waiting for it to get to the right temperature to process in a hot water bath (yet more standing over pots of boiling liquid). i knew i wanted to try freezer jam, but when i saw lindsay's post i knew i wanted to try it raw too. no cooking? sounds good to me!

i am not going to post the recipe, since lindsay (passionatehomemating.com) did a great job on her site and i don't like duplicating work. visit her site, read her article, get the recipe there. she has an awesome site that i love going to regularly! i will say though that i used 1/2 cup raw honey and 1 cup sugar so that it wasn't too sweet from just one type of sweetener. also, here are some pics so you can see how easy it is.

i love that i could use so little sugar (1 cup!!!) and raw honey in this recipe and not lose the benefits of it being raw. same thing with the fruit. many nutrients and enzymes are lost when food is cooked, so keeping things as natural as possible is best. all in all, i started cooking at about 6:30 pm and finished at about 11. not bad for dinner, desert, and jam!

a new adventure

2010-04-05T22:32:00.000-07:00

well, i am embarking on a new adventure this month! 5 days ago i signed up to be an Arbonne Independent Consultant. over the last few months i have really fallen in love with the products Arbonne provides, and a couple of weeks ago, i really fell in love with the business.

if you are a regular reader of my blog (and there hasn't been much lately, i am sorry!) you know that i am pretty discontent with life as it stands right now. i don't like working 40 hours a week. i don't like having debt. i don't like not being in control of when i work or who i work with. i don't like the thought of never being able to adopt because i don't have the money. i don't like not being able to give to causes i believe in for lack of funds. these are just some of my 'why's' for joining the Arbonne team. i am so happy to have HOPE that if i work hard enough i can finally live the life i envision.

a little over a year ago, God placed a vision in my heart for what my life and family would look like. i had such hope for a while, looking at that vision and seeing the joy and freedom in it. after a while though, i got really discouraged because i realised that some of the things i see in this picture could never happen doing what i am doing now. i wondered why God had given me this vision and why he would make me want something so badly and then not show me a way to get it. not to sound cheesy, but i really believe that when i prayed a couple of weeks ago for a way out of this lifestyle, He brought Arbonne to me. the products are great on my skin...i have terribly sensitive skin; the products also fit into my quest to use only natural products and support businesses that have green practices. the potential for income is really appealing, and i see how God will use this opportunity to grow me.

i say all of this not to drum up sales or to get people to join the company and sell (well, unless you want to and feel the Lord leading you the same way He lead me!) but to really share with you why i am excited about this new chapter. i love selling, i love meeting new people, i love being in charge of my schedule and i love having HOPE.

wow, two in a row

2010-03-14T23:24:00.000-07:00

even though these posts are a couple of months apart, sorry there are two downers in a row. i promise, i'm not turning this into a blog of lamentations :)

i must express some of my feelings though, not only to clear my own head but maybe to glean a little bit of advise or an 'i've been there too' from someone. sometimes it's good to know i'm not just a demanding jerk, and that what i'm thinking is normal.

there are a few things in life that i hate. things that i absolutely detest, and are definite deal breakers when it comes to the status of a relationship. being called a liar: probably number one on the list. number two (and the one i struggle with lately): being used.

i'm pretty sure no one likes feeling used. i think it's probably universal that people want their love, attention, good works, kindness, thoughtfulness returned by those they have bestowed these things on. i do not do these things with the intention of being repaid, but it gets really tiring to be the one who does these nice things and never gets anything back. am i the worlds best friend? no. a resounding NO. but i really try to do nice things for people and consider others in my actions.

example:
i try to leave a couple of minutes in the morning before heading to work to start the dishwasher or take out the recycling or tidy up. this not only eases my mind throughout the day, knowing that i did one or two things for the good of the household but since i am half of a team taking care of this house, it is a way to pitch in and get things done. i don't do it because it's the first thing i think of in the morning. i do it because i am intentional in trying to do something good, something that needs to be done. my eyes are always open to the things that need to be done. without being aware of my surroundings, everything would be left for my roommate to do or it wouldn't get done at all. living in a household with another person requires you to have your eyes peeled, take of the blinders and think of the big picture. for my own good, and that of the household.

ejemplo dos:
i listen to people when they are talking. if they are telling me their grocery list, if they are pouring their heart out to me, if they are telling a story-i listen. i do this because it is respectful and because i value that other person.

again, i don't do these things in order to be repaid. we can all think of the things we do to be 'nice' to others that we don't expect to be repaid or at least repaid in kind. but when you do 'whatever-it-is-that-makes-you- a-good-person', don't you hate it when there are people in your life that seem like they don't even realize that you are doing something nice? like they just expect it? this is what i hate. it makes my blood boil so hot that i'm surprised there is not steam coming from my skin.

i want to say 'how dare you be so involved in yourself that you don't think of others!' or 'your schedule/free time activities/family issues do not preclude you from being nice or thinking of others' needs!' it is normally those that are closest to us that offend us the most. the wounds that they cause are a lot deeper than those that people on the 'fringe' of our lives cause. how many couples get in fights because one person feels like they are always the one to take out the trash? how many friends fight because one half of the relationship feels that they are always the one to initiate social activities or the one who 'listens' while the other one is constantly gushing their drama?

for those of us on the receiving end of, well, NOT receiving, it's easy to feel used. you feel like the things you do are just expected and glossed over by those around you. you don't need or want a parade in your honor. if you are like me, you don't even need your actions recognized in the form of a thank you or a 'good job, sport'. you just want someone to do their part. pitch in. think about the big picture. think about others. think of how their actions or failure to act will effect others. something i heard a couple of years ago that i am really trying to ingrain in my mind, is a question which is to be asked whenever you notice something that needs done. i leave you with the question:

if not me, who? if not now, when? if not this, what?

hard times on the horizon

2010-01-25T22:04:00.000-08:00

right now i am watching office space, not a great movie i know. but in the scene a moment ago peter undergoes (is that the right word?) hypnosis and suddenly doesn't have many inhibitions and is living pretty free and easy. man, i'd like to be him right now. sometimes life gets a little rough and i would just like to skate through unscathed. i don't want to necessarily 'check out' and i don't want to not be alive of course, but i would just like to be able to walk around in a daze not recognizing the stuff around me that i don't want to notice.

lately i have been getting very anxious at work again. things are ramping up as far as getting ready for our busy 'season' and i am not a fan of customers yelling at me on the phone. i don't understand why people think they have the right to yell at me just because they are mad. it's rude and i hate it. i feel powerless because there is not much i can do about the situation. for most customers there is no settling the situation, they just want to yell and vent. i am the lucky recipient of their bad day and feelings about the bad economy.

also, i have a tendency to take on other people's issues as my problem to deal with. issues that they don't even know they have, but i see in them. i get upset and judgemental when they make what i consider to be bad decisions. it isn't my problem to deal with the repercussions of their choices so why do i care?

i think it goes beyond just wanting things to always go my way and everyone doing what i think they should be doing. i hate the feeling of powerlessness. i hate feeling like life goes on around me and there is nothing i can do to change it. the scene in office space just now was the montage of peter doing things his way. he takes down the wall in his cubicle so that he has a window view, he goes into work late (not in dress code)after fishing in the morning, then guts the fish at his desk on the famous tps reports. the song in the background is (yeah i cleaned it up) 'dang it feels good to be a gangsta'.

i wanna be a gangsta for a day. do what i want to do, make my life how i want it to be. all on my terms without a care for what the consequences may be. i take myself too seriously as it is.

pray for me to be able to chill out.

mission connexion northwest part 2

2010-01-19T23:16:00.000-08:00

saturday brought an (almost) full day at mcnw. we had two workshops in the morning at 11 and 12:30. becky and i both attended 'get on your boots' by kerri kenyon, a talk on spiritual warfare and preparing for meeting our trials by being rooted in scripture. it was a great lesson, and my biggest take-away was when kerri said that putting on the full armor of God was important, but you have to start with your boots because 'at least then you are standing', ready to start fighting. good stuff! the second workshop i attended was 'fundraising without fear' by ron frey. it was a good class and challenged some of my apprehensions in raising funds for missions. i have always felt like by asking for financial support was burdening others. i don't feel burdened when people ask me for money, so don't ask me why i think that about myself!!

the first session we went to was richard twiss, speaking on the subject of missio dei. richard is a native american man whose perspective on missions is really interesting to hear. growing up on a reservation he was exposed to a lot of missionaries who, in coming to 'share the good news' ended up causing a lot of pain in him and his people. they were told they had to abandon their traditions, learn english and assimilate to the 'american' way of life. this caused richard to grow up hating christianity and white people. he told us a story of how in the seventies he was part of the take over of the bureau of indian affairs office in washington dc and had plans to blow up the building. this is a man who had so much bitterness in his life stemming from missions gone wrong.

he then went on to talk about how missions can and should be done, and how it is most successful. the theology of missions that richard talked about was missio dei, which holds that God is the sender of missionaries and we are a participant in His spreading of His word. i think with this idea of what missions should look like, we end up asking ourselves what God would have us do, where He would want us to go and how He wants us to do it. our goal is no longer just to win souls but to share His love, be His physical hands and feet and to care for the poor, fatherless, widows and aliens. we need to realize that making people to conform to our way of thinking, acting, dressing is not missions. making the 'savage indian' into a WASP is not the goal of missions. we were all created unique with all people groups having diverse cultures. just because they are different from what we are used to does not mean that it is wrong. i'm not even doing justice to the message of this talk, so i will stop...i think you are all intelligent enough to understand where i am going : )

as i have stated in some of my previous posts, my values and ideas on certain areas of life have been challenged a lot over the last year or so and missions was one of them. hearing richard speak was really great because i was able to identify my thoughts with a name and see that i'm not just getting cynical :)

mission connexion northwest part 1

2010-01-17T00:44:00.000-08:00

this weekend becky and i went to mission connexion northwest at crossroads community church. if you know me personally, you know how much i love missions. i have not been able to 'go' in recent years (partly my fault, but partly i have been feeling that God has me more as a sender and supporter for now) but oh how i have loved my previous trips. i firmly believe that missions is for every Christian and that if you are not 'going' then you need to be 'sending'. missions is not something that is negotiable, not something you can say 'it's not my bag' to. Christ clearly gave the great commission and the great commandment because they are the way to spread His good news. ok, off my soapbox now :)

the conference started friday night with one workshop (didn't attend because of timing) and then one large group seminar. the speaker that night was joseph d'souza who is the president of dalit freedom network. i had heard about dalits several years ago but even then not very in depth. the dalit are the lowest caste in hindu's caste system. according to their beliefs, they are so spiritually polluted that if an upper-caste person is touched by the shadow of a dalit then they themselves become polluted. for this reason in villages where there is some possibility that this may happen, the dalit will lay down in the street (even the mud) when someone of an upper caste walks by so that their shadow does not touch the upper caste person. HOW MESSED UP IS THIS?? these people who in reality are infinitely loved by a gracious God are told that they are so worthless and bad that they WILL NEVER HAVE ACCESS TO GOD. can you imagine the despair? to have absolutely no hope? to believe that God wants nothing to do with you-ever?

now, imagine being told that you are actually made in the image of God. imagine being told that you have dignity and purpose because God valued you enough to die for you. what would you do with that? i think you might do what hundreds of thousands of indians are doing-accept the gospel of Jesus Christ and finally being reconciled to the One True God.

i wish you could have been there to hear this account from joseph's mouth. in fact, if you want to hear it in dvd form let me know and we'll set up a time to get together and watch it. i guarantee that you will not feel the same way about the message of the gospel ever again. i had a huge 'ah ha' moment when joseph was talking about the dalit mindset and the approach missionaries use to share the gospel to the dalit. you see, in much of 'western' churches and seminars we learn about making sure a person understands that they are a helpless sinner in need of a savior, as without the belief that you are a sinner -there is no reconciliation needed between yourself and a just God. however, the dalit already know they are worthless sinners. it is all they have ever been told. they don't need to be reminded that this is what they are. what they need to be told is that they have been made in the image of God for His glory alone. that through the cross Jesus gave their life a new identity and meaning and DIGNITY.they now have access to God through Jesus because of their dignity and value as God's prized creation. the reason this struck me so much is that it challenges our cookie cutter view of witnessing and missions. using the same four step plan of salvation i learned in bible college is not going to cut it with everyone. we have to find out what a person's individual 'hang up' is with their identity/life/world view and come against IT with truth. if you had told me this in a different context i would probably say it sounds a little too liberal and might compromise the truth. but i understand now.

truth is not relative, but the WAY we share it IS. we can be completely true to the scriptures and not diminish God in any way but still spread the Word in a way that will effectively touch people's lives.

Father, forgive me for putting your message in a box! open my eyes to new opportunities to share You with the world.

more food for thought...about food

2010-01-05T19:47:00.000-08:00

just as my values have been challenged this last year regarding our environment and it's inhabitants, my thoughts about food have been shifting as well. it all started when i began reading posts on the passionate homemaking and morning coffee and wondered what this book was that they were talking about a lot...Nourishing Traditions. i looked into it and saw that so many of the subjects were things i had been wondering about. things such as 'if God created animals, and gave them to us to eat, how can eating them be bad for us?' and 'what are the foods God gave us to eat? how were they eaten ? did how they were prepared affect the nutrition/effect the eater?' nourishing traditions answered these questions for me (not in a spiritual sense, but i of course was able to draw the conclusion) and made me realize that the 'diet' food i have been eating all these years was quite possibly only making me sicker. sally fallon, the author of NT is the president of the weston a price foundation which is a foundation whose goal is to educate and promote ancient food preparations and 'real' food. i learned so much about enzymes, good bacteria and nutrients from the book and websites. i also read the omnivore's dilemma and in defense of food by michael pollan which further spurred my interest in real food and sustainable food production practices. the evaluation of all of this information caused a lot of bulbs to light up in my head! now, what to do with this new-found insight? how do i implement good food preparation and purchasing into my daily life and budget?

enter: sustainable living on a budget workshops and more blogs such as the nourishing gourmet.

by attending the sustainable living workshops i learned how to make yogurt, kefir, sour cream, kombucha, kim chee, sour kraut, and much much more. knowing how to make things yourself is not only key to controlling ingredients but also the cost. food on the supermarket shelves takes a lot of money to make. it also makes it very convenient for us to purchase it, so we take it for granted. i know for a fact that i use way less mayonnaise now that i make my own.

which brings me to another 'a ha' moment about food. i take it way too for granted. there is a lot of mindless eating that happens in my life, and i want that to change. i want to eat not only to fill me, but to satisfy and nourish my body. so many foods we eat are 'dead'. they have been pasteurized and processed so much that companies have to add vitamins and enzymes back into food to give it any nutritional value at all. a controversial topic is the one of raw milk. through reading on the real milk site, nourishing traditions, etc i learned that most of milk's benefits are lost in the pasteurization process. i have had a problem for years with being lactose intolerant, but not now! raw milk actually contains lactase, the enzyme that breaks down the sugar lactose in milk. lactase is destroyed in the pasteurization, thus leaving your body to have to try and break down a sugar that you were not supposed to have to break down on your own. raw milk is nothing to be feared, contrary to what the government would have you believe. in washington state is is perfectly legal to purchase raw milk (it is against the law in many states, including oregon) and the state certifies raw dairies. these dairies have to meet strict guidelines for sanitation and the health of the cows. more stringent i should tell you, than a regular dairy! i feel good about drinking milk that ensures that the cows are being treated better than the average dairy cow!! i can also tell you it is delicious and not thick or creamy like i thought it would be. to me, it's worth the extra expense.

since this is new to me, i wanted to make some goals for myself this year concerning food:

continue to purchase raw milk
continue to purchase pasture raised beef and chicken
continue to purchase eggs from pastured chickens
join a local csa
introduce sprouted grains/beans into my diet

i am mainly trying to 'crowd out' the bad food in my life with good food. i am not making drastic, over-night changes here. yes, i still hit the drive through at taco bell. i am taking a few areas of my diet and changing them to fit what i feel God's plan is for my eating habits. it is a little challenging, but i believe He will bless it as i feel that He is the One directing me towards a more natural and conscious way of eating. hopefully this time next year i'll be able to report i am NOT hitting taco bell anymore :)

a new year, a new address, a new me?

2010-01-05T00:19:00.000-08:00

over the past year or so my values have been challenged. in a good way. as you can read through my posts, i have dealt with issues of community, money, missions, family and a little about food. the Lord has been challenging me to really try and see things through His eyes. if He created everything in this world and at the end of the day called it 'good'....i surely have a responsibility to honor it.
i feel like i have taken advantage of His creation for the last (ahem!) almost (louder cough) 30 (hacking now) years. i have not given much thought to the way animals are treated, how people around the world are treated or how our universe is cared for. frankly, when i started trying to see these things through new eyes and appreciation, all i did was cry. that made me want to stop looking around, but i didn't stop. my heart was broken. i wondered if this is how God feels when He looks at the injustice and pain and carelessness all around us. i know it pains Him, and it hurts Him much more than it could ever hurt me.
everything in this universe was created with a purpose. to bring glory and praise and honor to the Most High God.
a star shining in the distance, with it's miraculous chemical and gas composition. no scientist could ever replicate it. unfortunately, our governments send satellites, rockets and experimental machinery into space where they will never be brought back to earth. space trash litters the universe.
the incredible, healing, oxygen giving amazon is key to being able to sustain life as we now know it on earth. it's lush forests providing shelter to countless creatures and plants unseen outside of it's boundaries. yet, it is burned, cut down and bull dozed so that the land can be mined, built up and profited upon.
animals, created so skillfully and diverse, are a beautiful example of God's creativity. some are so sophisticated that they have real communities; they mourn the loss of a friend; they show affection; they build tools. however, too many are seen as expendable and too low on the food chain to care about. they are poached, abused, neglected and eradicated.
have we really taken our God-given domain over the earth too far? i think so. when i really take a look at how we view the world, my heart sinks and i feel so ashamed. it's not enough for me to feel bad about what i see. it's like when i consider salvation; it's a great thing i am saved, but if i don't share the good news with others then the victory is kind of hollow.
this burden has caused me to change the way i think about a lot of things, and come to terms with the fact that i cannot change the minds of every person on earth. all i can do is change my actions and try to consider how my choices impact the world around me. i am not perfect, never will be until glory.
things that i have committed to doing going forward, as long as i am able to:

being a better steward of the earth's resources through reducing energy and water usage
supporting farmers who practice humane animal husbandry and ecologically sound food production
striving to eat foods that God provided for me, not 'frankenfood' that barely resembles what it's supposed to be and has little or no nutritional value left
living more simply by cutting back on purchases of brand new items and carefully considering what new (or new to me) purchases enter the house. paring down the possessions will leave more time and money for Kingdom worthy causes

i say these things not to make you feel bad about anything, or to try and 'convict' you of something you have not yet felt the Spirit leading you in. i do want to help you consider these things though. my prayer is that God will be glorified through our actions, and that He would soften our hearts toward His creation.

what are your thoughts?

yikes! it's been a while, eh?

2010-01-04T00:04:00.000-08:00

well hello again friends! :) i'm not quite sure what caused me to be so derelict in my blogging but i promise it will never happen again. i know i've kept you all waiting on the edge of your seats the last three months ; )
seeing that it HAS been three months since i have posted, let me fill you in!
october...nothing really interesting happened. didn't do anything on halloween, i think i may have been sick?
november....not too much to report in the beginning of the month. middle of the month becky and i applied for our new apartment (which we now live in...details up soon) and i started getting ready for yet ANOTHER move this year. i have moved 6 times in the last 4 years. i'm done moving to say the least! thanksgiving was super low key. mom had pneumonia so i made dinner for dad, seth and myself. it turned out really well, and i made it super easy on myself by doing the sweet potatoes and green beans in crockpots. i highly recommend this method of cooking! it totally left the oven open for cooking the turkey and dressing. it also cut down on some of my 'kitchen time' since the crockpots were already cooking away. the down side of thanksgiving was when i realized that the dishwasher detergent compartment was not closing. at. all. this meant that i got to wash all of the dishes by hand. i know some of you who do not have a dishwasher would not think this is a huge deal. please understand me. i am a child of the 80's. i have never in my youth or adulthood lived in a house without a dishwasher. washing a dinner's (especially thanksgiving) worth of dishes is not fun. it hurt my back and gave me dishpan hands. sick.
black friday was great fun, as i went shopping with my dear friend carla. we hit target, bed bath and beyond and joann fabrics. scored big time on some things i have been holding our for like a cricut cutting machine for crafting. i got it $100 off!!
at the beginning of december i moved into the apartment. for the first couple of weeks i was by myself as becky hadn't moved yet. it was refreshing to be here alone for a while. for the last year and a half i have lived with other people (roomies and my family) so it was nice to have the place to myself and have some alone time. as time went on and becky moved in, the house started looking more like it was inhabited by women and not college aged males. we're still not completely settled, but it is definitely liveable. i am excited to have a spare room (we got a 3 bed/2bath apt) where i will be able to set up my craft and sewing stuff. the thing i hate about crafting is having to pack everything up and put it away. such a buzz kill! but once i get that all set up i won't have to worry about that anymore. it will be so fun and i'm sure i will craft a whole lot more than i do now.
there are more things i am going to post on soon, like recent awesome developments in my health and what the Lord is doing in this little life of mine. stay tuned. same bat time, same bat channel.

beating the sniffles

2009-09-21T21:21:00.000-07:00

on saturday my friend and i got together and made a TON of chicken noodle soup. it was a lot of fun getting together and catching up, and cooking is always more fun when it's with a friend!
the most important food ingredient in a good traditional chicken soup is the broth. many of us know that broth is good for us when we are sick, but does anyone know why? and did you know that the broth you are drinking is probably use less if it's not homemade? let me elaborate by taking some cues from "Nourishing Traditions: The Cookbook that Challenges Politically Correct Nutrition and the Diet Dictocrats" by Sally Fallon.

'Properly prepared, meat stocks are extremely nutritious, containing the minerals of bone, cartilage, marrow and vegetables as electrolytes, a form that is easy to assimilate. Acidic wine or vinegar added during cooking helps to draw minerals, particularly calcium, magnesium and potassium, into the broth.'

she goes on to list other important benefits of bone broth such as protein content (great any time, healthy or sick, but especially when you are ill and not eating a whole lot of protein rich foods) and gelatin which is a proven intestine healer and digestive aid. It is important to note that natural gelatin is good for you, but commerically produced gelatin can contain MSG which could be bad for those with sensitivities.

there are side benefits of drinking a warm broth as well when you are sick. first, you are taking in fluids. secondly the steam from the stock will open your sinuses, and some say that the sodium in it will raise your blood pressure a little and help you have a bit of energy.

stock can be made from chicken, beef, fish or game bones and tissue. i will briefly outline how i made chicken stock (according to the Nourishing Traditions recipe):

roast a whole chicken, let cool

take most of the meat off carcass, reserve for soup or sandwiches, etc

place carcass and any giblets that may have been included in the chicken in a stock pot with 4 quarts of water

add 2 tablespoons of vinegar

1 large onion, coarsely chopped

2 carrots, peeled and coarsely chopped

3 celery sticks, coarsely chopped

let stand 30 to 60 minutes, then bring to a boil removing 'scum' as it floats to the top. reduce heat, cover and simmer for 6-24 hours. the longer you cook the stock the richer and more flavorful it will be. about 10 min before finishing the stock, add 1 bunch chopped parsley (this will impart additional mineral ions to the broth)

remove carcass and vegetables with a slotted spoon. pour the stock through a fine strainer into a pot or large bowl to further remove left over 'stuff'.

pour stock into jars or plastic freezer containers. let cool, then strain off the fat. clear stock will keep for 5 days in the refrigerator and several months in the freezer.

so there you have it, my method for making a tasty, nutritious, healing meat stock. the vitamins and minerals that are readily available in the liquid are good anytime of year but especially when you are feeling like you want to die :)

chicken soup: good for the soul and good for your health!

'tis so sweet

2009-09-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

to trust in Jesus!!!

i am so happy to have had an upbriging where christian music was played and (even though i didn't particularly like it at the time) hymns were sung and listed to on tv or radio. it is these songs that come to my mind when i am struggling, evoking memories of scriptures through their words. the truths written in songs of the faith are encouraging and sweet.
as i have shared before on this blog my health is a major source of 'strife' to say the least. it seems like every time i go to the doctor or have some test done it doesn't turn out well. it gets really discouraging sometimes and i would be lying if i said that i had never prayed for a new body :) even as i think of my health woes, i am getting teared up. it is hard for me to remain positive when there are so many unknowns. as i fight my human nature and strive to trust my ultimate Physician, i remember the hymn below. lately, singing it has helped me to remember that i don't need to know what is happening...i just need to trust the One who does!
Trust the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Psalm 3:5-6

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,And to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Refrain:Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, how sweet to trust in Jesus,Just to trust His cleansing blood;
And in simple faith to plunge me ’Neath the healing, cleansing flood!
Yes, ’tis sweet to trust in Jesus,Just from sin and self to cease;
Just from Jesus simply taking Life and rest, and joy and peace.
I’m so glad I learned to trust Thee,Precious Jesus, Savior, Friend;
And I know that Thou art with me,Wilt be with me to the end.

OH, FOR GRACE TO TRUST HIM MORE!!

i promise it's not about food

2009-08-08T01:51:00.000-07:00

friday night becky and i went out to eat and then went and saw 'julie and julia'. we had a great dinner at olive garden and were excited to see the movie cause it just looked so darn cute on previews. let me tell you, i really enjoyed the movie!

i really found myself seeing my stage in life reflected in julie's. at the time that julie was blogging and cooking her way through julia child's mastering the art of french cooking, she was: 29, not loving her job, in a rut and looking for inspiration. oh how i relate! i am even the same age! recently i have been trying to make sure that i stay inspired in my daily life. by this i mean, keeping something special to look forward to. whether it's cooking sunday dinner, taking a doula training class, getting my camera gear out and shooting somewhere, or making sure to keep an active social life i NEED something to get me through the day, because everydayaveragelife can get, well, average.

it was encouraging to see these women take a risk and follow through even though they got really discouraged. it took years for julia child to get her first cookbook published. draft after draft, she never gave up. julie even got discouraged when recipes were a flop, and when she and her husband suffered a brief separation. anyone who knows me knows that i am not a tenacious person. i rarely finish anything i start. knowing this about myself discourages me from the get-go when i want to start a project or venture. however, i am trying to change this!! i hate being a person who gives up. it is a character trait that i do not find attractive in others yet i seem to be so adept at it :) even the thought of trying to become a more committed person is a little intimidating. but i have to stick to it. so many people have faced more adversity than i have and have come through with a smile on their face...at the finish line.

even though it was 'just a movie' it was the retelling of two true stories of two women who did not give up. i hope to tell my own story of tenacity and commitment some day. soon.

cheap dinner ideas

2009-08-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

since moving back in with my parents i have been the chief meal planner/preparer. at first i was making meal plans that were great menus, but after a while i just felt like i was trying to out-do myself and it was a lot of effort just to get dinner done. after reading a post on the nourishing gourmet about keeping weekday meals simple and having a sunday meal be special, i was a changed woman :) one of the comments on the post was that a woman felt like she had to make a 'rachel ray' dinner every night and that it was a lot of pressure, the thought of doing it once a week was very freeing. i totally agree. this post along with the thought of heating up the kitchen in hot weather (and the hot weather making me not want to go full on grocery shopping) has lead me to make some very creative, cheap, delicious and easy meals the past week. drawing on ideas from the happy housewife and menu plan monday, i have been able to organize my meals better and make the most of my time and resources.
most of the ingredients are things i already had on hand and were not purchased specifically for the meal they turned into :) i posted the other day about the sloppy joes, and today i will share a few more recipes with you:

open-faced salmon melts

1 large can of canned alaska salmon (i used bumble bee in the tall can, there were a lot of bones since it is from the center of the fish, but it didn't take long to remove them)
1/2 cup sour cream
1T dijon mustard
garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste
2 green onions chopped (green and white parts)
mix it all together and spread over bread, buns or in our case beer bread (recipe for that coming soon!)
i also topped mine with tomato slice, tillamook cheddar cheese and alfalfa sprouts.
cost: about $3 for 4 servings

pantry pasta

i'm going to tell you what i put in my pantry pasta today, but use this as a guideline. the idea and goal here is to use up random leftovers and small remnants of things you have in your fridge or pantry. i throw almost everything in, and it always turns out great. be creative and courageous as you make up your ever changing meal of pantry pasta! :)

remnant leftover pastas (i had about 1/4 box of penne, and 1/2 box of mostaccioli)

left over sloppy joe sauce

1/2 medium green bell pepper (the left over from making sloppy joes the other day)

artichoke hearts

roasted red bell peppers

butternut squash soup (i needed a little more 'sauciness' so i added the soup. it added great flavor and of course more vegetables!)

garlic powder, salt and pepper to taste

cook the pasta till al dente,drain. in the same pot as you cooked the pasta in, add the rest of the ingredients. top with your choice of cheeses ( i had a little bit of swiss, mozzarella and cheddar)pour into a 9x13 and cook at 400 for about 20 minutes.

cost: basically free since i didn't plan on this meal, and everything was 'leftovers'! this makes a good 9x13 sized casserole so you can figure on 6-8 helpings. i have also found that this type of casserole freezes well and is great the next day for even more leftovers :)

this was the side dish to my pantry pasta today. TOTALLY FREE! one of my dad's customers gave him some walla walla sweet onions and a coworker of mine gave me the squash. i fried them up in the cast iron skillet with some bacon grease and it was delicious!

fancy chicken cordon bleu

sunday dinner this week!

raise your hand if you have ever tried to make chicken cordon bleu and gave up because you couldn't roll it!!! i love regular chicken cordon bleu, but i do not appreciate the rolling...also, i like to add my own spice to things :) the way i make the dish now is to do it casserole style and layer all of the ingredients. it makes for a much more enjoyable experience and tastes just the same.

4 butterflied and flattened chicken breasts

1 lb sliced ham

10 (or so) slices of swiss cheese

1 cup seasoned bread crumbs ( i use oregano, salt and pepper, garlic, paprika, onion powder and sage as my seasoning)

place two chicken breasts on the bottom of a 9x13 pan. sprinkle 1/2 cup seasoned breadcrumbs over chicken. top with ham (use as much or little as you like) and cheese.

**this is where i added some left over asparagus and sun dried tomatoes. if you want to add a little something special to yours, look for something with a distinct flavor but that is not overpowering. traditional chicken cordon bleu is supposed to be more mild in flavor, but you can do whatever you feel like :)

repeat the layers. bake at 425 for about 30-45 minutes. after removing it from the oven i also drizzled some pesto over the top for added 'oomph'. it worked!

cost: about $10, serves 4-6

'pulled' turkey sandwiches

earlier this month my mom bought a roasted turkey from the deli section of the grocery store (same place you get rotisserie chickens) and we had it in the freezer for a while just waiting for an occasion to use it. with the weather this last week, we took it out so that it could thaw and we would have cooked meat without having to cook (read: heat up the house). i pulled some of the turkey apart and made delicious sandwiches!

shredded turkey

spices: chili powder, paprika, onion powder, garlic, pepper, cumin

shredded pepper jack cheese

avocado

dressing: 1/2 cup sour cream, minced: onion, roasted red pepper, dijon mustard, pepper

mix the spices with the turkey, then heat in your microwave or on the stove. spread the dressing on the bun, top with turkey, avocado and cheese. you can put this under the broiler or heat in the microwave to melt the cheese.

cost: about $6 and served 4

i hope that you are 'inspired' by the recipes i have listed above. not because i think i'm a great inspiring chef but because i rarely follow a recipe although i am always looking for new ones. i use the recipes i see on other blogs, magazines and tv shows as the basis for making my own creations. my suggestion when you are in a rut is to look in your freezer, fridge and pantry to see what you have 'laying around'. be creative and have fun! if it doesn't turn out, then it's not the end of the world.

do you have any creative, cheap dinner ideas? is there anything that gets your creative juices flowing in the kitchen?

'cooking' in a heat wave

2009-07-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

this week it has been HOT here in the pacific northwest. we have experienced record highs...as in 107 degrees...and since it's the great northwest, not many people have air conditioning. we sort of have air conditioning which has made the temperatures technically livable but let's face it, nothing compares to whole house a/c.

when the weather gets this hot, i usually don't like to cook. i really don't like to eat much either but definitely no heating up the kitchen. since we had already had salads and cold sandwiches earlier in the week, i decided to try an experiment with cooking in the microwave. of course i have made frozen dinners in the microwave but have never done anything else. some people don't like to use the microwave because of fears over radiation and nutritional loss. to this i say, sometimes it's about survival! :)

thursday night i made sloppy joes with a small side salad and it was great! i think i made up for the cheating methods of preparation by making my sauce from scratch. at least that's what i like to believe.

normally i would saute all of the ingredients for my sauce but this time i tried doing it in the microwave to great results. once my peppers and onions were 'sauteed' i warmed up the ground beef (this had been cooked earlier in the week when it was a cooler part of the day. time saving tip: if you know you are going to be using a product twice in one week, prepare it all at once then refrigerate the remainder. this beef for example was 2 lbs that had been browned, then 1 lb was seasoned for taco salad and the other left plain for sloppy joes.) then added the tomato products to the peppers and onions and heated it through. once that was all done i combined the two bowls and voila! sloppy joe sauce. also, to avoid heating my oven i popped the buns into the toaster to get them nice and crisp. take a look at the pics below, and i have included my 'recipe' for the sauce (a very rough recipe since i make it all up in my head as i go along!)

1/2 of a medium white onion, diced; 1/2 medium green bell pepper diced; about 2 T rice vinegar (you can also use apple cider vinegar for more sweetness); salt, pepper, garlic to taste; 2t chili powder; 1t mustard powder (you could use prepared mustard also, probably 1T); 2t cumin; 1T dried oregano, 2T olive oil. combine in glass bowl (don't use plastic if at all possible). cook on high for 1 1/2 minutes, stir, cook 1 1/2 minutes longer.

heat your ground beef for 3 minutes on high

6oz can tomato paste, 14.5 oz can stewed or crushed tomatoes, 3/4-1 cup ketchup, 2T brown sugar. combine ingredients in food processor and whirl till the tomatoes are smooth. combine with vegetables and meat. heat in microwave for about 3-5 minutes.

my spice arsenal

toasty buns!!

do you have any ideas for 'cooking' without heating up the house? i'd love to hear your ideas!

mt hood railroad

2009-07-26T22:00:00.000-07:00

there was homemade rootbeer at the pub we ate at. i looooove rootbeer!

i guess it's not THAT bad of a view to live with every day :)

a view of the dome car

glamor shots by katie

the day after sand in the city becky and i went to parksdale, oregon on the mt hood railroad western train robbery excursion. she had gotten free passes from a customer of hers, and invited me to go along. it was so nice! we rode in the dome car which was very nice. the seats were comfy (important for a 4 hour ride) and the a/c was nice too (also important for a 4 hour ride). the tracks went through forresty areas, pastures and fruit orchards finally making it's destination in parksdale. there was a great pub in town that we ate dinner in, even though we brought our own picnic lunch, and got delicious ice cream cones from a little parlor.

i highly recommend the mt hood railroad. if you take kids, definitely take some toys and coloring books cause it is a long ride. BUT it's not like being in a car because they can move around and walk down the isle and around the cars.

check out their website for more events!

sand in the city 2009

2009-07-26T21:41:00.001-07:00

well, one of my summer of fun ideas was to go to the sand in the city event at pioneer courthouse square, and i went! becky had never been to the event so i dragged her along too :) we started off at the square, then headed over to the mall for lunch and window shopping. FYI there is a moonstruck chocolates kiosk at poineer square mall. consider yourself forewarned :)

bart simpson...cowabunga dude :)

this was a cute display. you may not notice the big sasquatch footprint in the sand where 'he' and the smart car are placed. this display was done by an energy conservation group, i think.

the two pics above were of my favorite display. it is called 'family game night' and was all different boardgames families can play. the pic directly above is of hungry hungry hippo :) i loved that game when i was little!! then notice the life car in the top picture too. :)

me and my boyfriend

yeah, becky tried to creep in, but ended up keeping her distance. good idea, girlie :)

a post of blogs

2009-07-24T23:03:00.000-07:00

some of my friends have been asking me lately what blogs i stalk on a regular basis. these questions usually come around because i am quoting yet ANOTHER blog post i read, or raving about a new blog i found in the blogosphere. i am a bit nerdy now about finding interesting blogs and after a while these complete strangers start to become your 'friends'.
i wanted to dedicate a post to introducing my friends to some of the blogs i follow so they too can be nerdy blog stalkers :)

introducing:
lindsay,the passionate homemaker
the mennonite ladies
toni,the happy housewife
kimi,the nourishing gourmet
kristen, the harried homemaker
carrie, at it's frugal being green
laura, the organizing junkie
rachel, at the high chair

at passionate homemaking you will find frugal, delicious meals that are healthy and natural. lindsay has great ideas for organizing, simplifying and maintaining your home; child care; gardening and natural, frugal living. she is a great christian woman whom i have had the pleasure of meeting recently (!) and provides really great insight on the high calling of womanhood.

i have just found mennonitegirlscancook! i love it! the recipes are mouthwatering and very down home. they remind me a lot of church potlucks :) and the kind of food i l-o-v-e to eat. i also really appreciate the occasional devotional post, as they are so encouraging!

toni is the happy housewife. please, before you start in on her posts, read her story! the Lord has transformed her heart, her marriage and subsequently her life and it makes her posts so much more meaningful, i think, knowing that she is so sincere in her striving to serve her family. she has great parenting tips, money management ideas, and as a long-time military wife lots of insight into base living. i really like her recipe posts also!

the nourishing gourmet is a site i found a couple of weeks ago while trolling for blogs that supported nourishing traditions methods. kimi has a great repertoire of healthful recipes and kitchen tips. i don't know about you, but i am ALWAYS looking for a new recipe to try :) she is also a strong christian and approaches her food and family care from a Biblical perspective.

the frugal antics of a harried homemaker is a great site. kristen gives advise and ideas that fall totally in line with the title of her site. dinners are quick and cheap, money and time saving tips, and need i say it again...recipes :)

since i also like to visit sites that aren't food-based..haha..i follow the goings on of carrie at it's frugal being green. many frugal ideas are also green ones, because making your laundry detergent is cheap and earthfriendly for example. if you are new to the green scene i really suggest heading over to the blog site to get acquainted with natural, earthfriendly living.

laura is THE organizing junkie! she has great tips on organizing your house room by room, learning to purge, and doing 'life' organization too. her posts are very motivating, and if you read my post on the urge to purge, you will know where i got my inspiration! :)

last but not least is my friend rachel who maintains the high chair. i akin stalking rachels blog to being a fly on the walls of her house :) she's a gifted and funny writer who's stories will make you laugh hysterically :) rachel posts recipes, home organization tips, gardening ideas and parenting tips like cloth diapering. it helps that i know rachel personally and have met her husband and children, but i think you will connect with her posts as well!

so there you have it, my top blogs!! i hope you will check these ladies out and start stalking too :) if you have any sites you visit regularly, please leave a comment and let us know. i'm always up for more reading material!! :)

packrat reformed::urge to purge

2009-07-11T20:51:00.001-07:00

i have been reading a lot lately on several blogs about simplifying the household in order to make it easier to live in/with and clean. simple is my friend. i love to have things organized, and in the last several years really worked on being able to determine 'must haves' from 'junk' in my personal belongings.

you must understand something about me though if you are really going to appreciate this facet of my life. i was raised a complete and total pack rat. both of my parents are pack rats. their parents are/were pack rats. it is a genetic trait, i think!! but see, men and women keep things for different reasons. my dad keeps things because 'i may be able to use that for something later' or 'i can turn that into something else and it will be great'. my mom keeps things because ' so and so made that 40 years ago' or 'i like it' (even though she may have forgotten she even had it). this is how i was, possessing BOTH of my parents traits until a few years ago. i started cutting the sentamental ties with things i never used/wanted, and realized that if i needed something in the future, i could just go to the store and buy the thing instead of hanging on to this piece of junk for 23 years.

all that to say, i have a deep appreciation for organization now and have reaped the benefits of de-cluttering my own household while i had one. now that i am living with my parents again, their clutter was getting on my nerves. i knew it was on their nerves too, but neither one of them was going to tackle it.

i did.

starting at about 9:30 friday night and continuing to about 11 this morning (nope, i didn't sleep!! i couldn't risk loosing my mojo) i cleaned out the cupboards in the kitchen and the linen closet in the hallway. unfortunately i wasn't thinking ahead and didn't take 'before' shots of the kitchen, but i did get afters, and b & a's of the hall closet.

three boxes of junk to take to goodwill. glasses, a toaster oven, baby bottles, sippy cups, mugs, bowls and lots of duplicate items (how many pie pans does one kitchen need? certainly not 5!)

there were also two garbage bags!!

then i cleared out the junk drawer. every house has one!

i cleaned up the cook books and loose recipes we had in the cupboard. also, i went through all of the medication in the medicine cabinet and threw out all the expired stuff. i HIGHLY recommend doing this! you would not believe how much expired medicine i threw away, and that stuff can be very dangerous! i organized our meds by person, and then the 'general' stuff went on the lazy susan.

i tackled the freezer too! anything that was unidentifyable because of lack of ID or freezer burn was tossed.

here's the newly organized small appliance cupboard...all of the casserole dishes were organized as well, so that everything can be found easily

this starts the 'before' pics of the hall linen closet. so much clutter!! so many towels that are not needed anymore, enough lightbulbs to light the eifel tower till Jesus comes again, candles, vhs tapes, medical supplies and junk.

and the after!!!! three boxes went to goodwill, and two garbage bags for the dump.

now, everything is nicely folded and stacked. smaller, like items were grouped together and placed in new storage bins. i also bought a labeler (a dream of mine for decades :) and identified the contents of the bins so that they will be easy to locate and keep organized. there is actually an entire shelf now that is empty, and the floor space!! we are looking forward to using that extra space for the big costco shopping of toilet paper, paper towels, kleenex, etc.

it is so nice to be able to look around the kitchen and not see any clutter! and it's pretty tempting to open the linen closet every time i walk by just to admire it. mom and dad are very pleased with the outcome and are hoping this will help make their next move easier too!

summer of fun schedule

2009-07-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

the last few summers i have tried to mark down on my calendar what events are taking place in pdx and vanc during the summer months. i check out the city of vancouver website to see what is going on downtown (mainly at the fort and esther short park), clark county fairgrounds website, and the city of portland parks and recreation. the portland website lists all of the parks and major public areas so you can search by area to see what is taking place. i really like the events at pioneer courthouse square and the japanese and chinese gardens. another place to look is the website for the oregon convention center and portland expo center. the types of events held at these two venues are going to be more 'conventiony' than entertainment based, but are still worth looking into.

below are some of the events that i have on my calendar...i may make it to all of them, or none of them but the goal is to at least have no excuse for not having fun :)

JULY
Friday 10th-Flicks on the Bricks (FOTB), Pioneer Courthouse Square (PCS), Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Take a blanket, low folding chair or bean bag and watch movies presented on a screen at the Square. Cost:It's free!
Friday 17th-Saturday 18th-Yoshida's Sand in the City, PCS This is a really fun event where they fill up the Square with sand and have sand-sculpture building contests. There are a lot of really interesting sculptures, and its so neat to see the teams working together. Cost: Free
Saturday 18th-1860's Baseball at the Ft. Vancouver Historical Reserve Parade Grounds. I haven't been able to make it to this event in the past couple of years, but I hear it's really neat to watch. The game is played just like it was in 1860 (apparently the rules and regulations were different then). Cost:Free!
Sunday 19th-Southwest Washington Humane Society Open House. The new east county facility is finished! Take a tour, learn about microchipping and spaying/neutering your pets, and get information on the services that the HS offers. Cost: Free
Friday 24th-FOTB at PCS, Dirty Dancing. This is probably gonna be a really fun one to be at! Tell me you don't think there will be sing along!!! :) Cost: Free
Friday 24th-25th-Camas Days in Downtown Camas, Wa. Lots of events for the whole family! Enjoy shopping in the cute boutiques, good food and music and other vendors. Cost: Free (except of course if you buy something)
Friday 31st-Tillamook Celebration at PCS. Tillamook will be sampling cheese and ice cream in celebration of their anniversary. Cost: Free. FREE CHEESE PEOPLE :)

AUGUST
Friday 7th-FOTB at PCS Jurassic Park. A good one to take the older kids to! I remember seeing this movie in the theater as an early teen (that dates me!) and it's just not the same on a TV screen. Might be your only chance to see it again in big projection! Cost: Free
Saturday 15th-Another installment of 1860's Baseball. Same details as above.
Sunday 16th-India Festival at PCS. Go experience Indian music, food and vendors at PCS. This would be a great learning opportunity for kids, and a perfect chance to teach them about different cultures and (if age appropriate) the persecuted church and human rights.Cost: Free
Friday 21st-FOTB at PCS Anchorman! Not one for the kids, but a fun one to take some of your friends to. Cost: Free
Friday 28th-Italian Festival at PCS. Need I say more than Italian food?? Nope. Cost: Free

there are a lot of other activities out there...please let me know if you know of anything interesting that i missed, or if you know of other sites to look at for local entertainment!!

belated fathers day gift/surprise bathroom remodel for daddy

2009-06-28T20:39:00.000-07:00

when my dad told my mom and me a few weeks back that he was going to florida for a work trip, we immediately began scheming to remodel the front bathroom while he was gone. the bathroom has been needing an update for several years. things just weren't coming clean anymore and no matter how hard we tried, it just never looked good. the toilet and sink were so hard water stained that they constantly looked dirty and grimy. it was kind of embarrassing to have people over...we hoped they had used the bathroom before coming over! :)
also, there has been water damage under the floor for many years. dad and i did some updating in '96 in the bathroom and the wax ring we put down at that time didn't seal properly. water had been seeping into the floor for several years before we found out what the problem was. we replaced it a few years ago so it stopped leaking but of course that was too late for the floor.
check out our pics from the whirlwind surprise project!

old pain job (circa 1996) w/ medicine cabinet and old vanity light

no matter how we scrubbed or what cleaners we used it NEVER came clean

the floor was separating from the bathtub since it was old and water damaged

yeah, it's a tiny bathroom!

we put those shower doors up in '96 and i liked them for all of one day. i HATE shower doors now because they are so hard to keep clean! they are also inconvenient if you have children or pets to bathe because you have to lean over the tracks and that's really uncomfortable! :(

thursday night after the water damaged sub-floor was ripped up, this is what we found of the floor boards

oh we were not excited to find rot in the floor boards! our friend steve was helping during this whole process, so he cut the board out and replaced it with a nice pressure treated piece. that's the toilet drain on the right, also messed up because of the water damaged floor.

cabinet doors drying in the sun

new sub floor is laid and the vanity is painted. after my mom did such a great job of painting that front panel...i leaned into it and ruined it!! good goin', me!

here i am with the trowel getting ready to put down leveling compound on the new subfloor. for the hour prior to this i had been under the sink trying to disconnect the water lines from the sink. the hot water bolt came off with a little work, but the right one never did come off for me. i wrenched on that bolt so hard that i really hurt my shoulder and joked about getting a hernia! i am actually going to urgent care tomorrow to see if it my shoulder torn or sprained!!

saturday night after we had set the new sink and i laid the floor tile, steve sat the toilet. i had done this with my dad before but still didn't feel comfortable doing it myself. i'm glad steve has such a servant's heart and was so patient to help!!!!

sunday afternoon finished product!! today i laid the cove moulding at the floor/wall joint, hung the mirror, grouted the tile backsplash around the counter and some other little things. mom hung the shower curtain and the pic above the toilet. looks pretty!

close up of the vinyl floor tile

we didn't have time to put the doors back on the vanity before dad came home, so i just set them up against it. yes, we still haven't repainted the front panel of the vanity i ruined :) please notice the tile backsplash...i have never done tile before, and i did this all by myself!! i'm pretty proud if you can't tell :)

dad was really surprised to see what we had done. he's not one to really be excited about things so we still don't really know how he feels about it all. : ) he works so hard on his business and because of that doesn't have the time or energy to tackle projects like this, so we hope he does like it and understands we did it because we appreciate him not because we thought he'd never do it.

happy belated father's day, daddy! i hope you like it and know how much love we put into this project...because WE LOVE YOU! you're the best dad i ever had! :)

on my mind

2009-06-23T21:55:00.000-07:00

i always have a lot on my mind. usually i can't focus on the task at hand until i have written out my thoughts or developed my plan of action. a sampling of my brain today:

-i don't think i'm getting enough sleep
-i really need to clean the kitchen
-can't wait till this weekend to remodel the bathroom
-hope everything goes well with the bathroom and we get everything done
-i really want starbucks but am trying not to spend money on it
-my schedule is filling up with doctors appointments
-how much is all the medical testing going to cost
-should i take doula training sooner or later
-the thought of birth makes me nervous
-if the thought of birth makes me nervous should i really be pursuing this field of work
-why do people claim that their divorce is for the good of their children
-why does everything at wendy's have meat on it...even the side caesar salad
-i am thankful for parents who were big enough to face their problems and not divorce
-i envy my girlfriends that are stay at home moms
-how can parents be so selfish as to not consider their children's well-being in every decision
-how are there sickos in the world who would prey on my friends children
-if i had a house with acreage i would have goats, alpacas, chickens and a no-kill dog rescue

i am so thankful to have a God who knows all my thoughts, worries, heartaches and joys. there is nothing that enters my mind or heart that He cannot see, cannot heal, cannot calm or cannot bless.

"why are you downcast, oh my soul? why are you so disturbed within me? put your hope in God, for i will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God" psalm 42:5

fun times

2009-06-12T19:04:00.000-07:00

last saturday we went to the portland international rose test garden in portland, oregon. the occassion (though you definitely don't need an occassion to go!) was my mom's birthday and she had never been up to the garden. mom, dad and i met up with seth and breanne and made our way through the seemingly endless rows of roses. some were so bright, almost neon, while others were so pale you could hardly tell what color they were supposed to be! it was a great day for being outside too. as you may know, our weather around here is a little 'ify' at best this time of year so you never really know what you're going to get. on our day it was warm, overcast (great for pictures) and not a drop of rain!

as we walked around the flowers we found fun places to have our pictures taken, then settled in one of the courtyard for some family photos. i set up my tripod and snapped away. i love photography so it was fun to have some captive subjects :)

after we were done at the garden we drove down to pf changs in the heart of the pearl district. we had quite the wait (because someone, who shall remain nameless...ok, me, didn't make reservations) but it was worth it. my mom highly recommends the shrimp in lobster sauce and the dynamite shrimp! ;)

here are some pics from our day:

seth and me

can you feel the love?

awww...

mom and dad

seth and breanne

the whole family

canada 2009

2009-05-25T21:52:00.000-07:00

as we did last year, my roommies from New Tribes Bible Institute got together for a weekend of fun. i just love these girls!! last year kristyl hosted us in her home in michigan and this year sharon hosted us in Sarnia, Ontario, Canada.

mostly we just sat around and talked, catching up with what's been going on in eachothers lives in the past year. being adults brings a whole new line of conversation compared to when we were in college. struggles with marriage, jobs, having children, trying to have children, family, money (well, we talked about money when we were in college but we were okay with not having money then!!! :) one big excursion we made was to go get fries from under the bluewater bridge. apparently Sarnia is known for their french fries and people make it a special stop when traveling across the bridge to get fries. oh, it was heavenly! great fries, just by themselves since they are hand cut and freshly cooked, then get a nice spritz of vinegar and salt before being served. however, i did partake in the large serving of poutine. yummmmmmy :) also we had deep fried pickles. well, you should just watch the video.

let me introduce the characters :)

me of course
elisa

kristylsharon and her husband brandon
**Okay, so i am having a ton of technical difficulties posting video right now. i'll have to update w/ video later.

the next visit will be held here in vancouver and believe me, much craziness will ensue. i already have so many places in mind that i want to take the girls to it's just a matter of time!

post of pics

2009-05-25T20:42:00.001-07:00

we took jesse and two of my mom's old day care kids to the park...typical face for him :)

us at the oregon zoo

bekah, becky and me at the beth moore conference @ memorial colluseum. absolutely life changing! so much fun, great worship and 7,000 other women being touched by the Holy Spirit through that wonderful woman.

a march trip to cannon beach w/ friends

this video is of us using a GINORMOUS piece of kelp as a jump rope. oh the entertainment one can find at the beach :) darlene was on camera duty, feng and i were swinging the 'rope' and nicole and debbi were the athletes

It's been a long time

2009-05-25T20:12:00.000-07:00

Hello :)
i took a sabatical from blogging basically because my life was pretty boring for a while :) i have moved back in with my parents for a while to pay off my debt and save some money. this savings will either go to purchasing a condo or getting me back on my feet in an apartment so i can pursue education.
currently i am considering going to nursing school at clark which means i need to complete my prerequisites in a few sciences. i am not afraid of the courses since i love science and am in such a different place than i was when i was at clark years ago. okay, so i am actually in the same physical place, living w/ mom and dad but in a much different place emotionally and in my maturity. :)
if you have known my educational hopes in the past 6 months you might be wondering what happened to midwifery and lactation consulting. well, i have not given up on these but have moved them to the back of the educational line. while i could work independently as a lactation consultant, i would like to have the option of working in a hospital as it provides a more stable work schedule. the same goes for midwifery. in washington and oregon midwives and lactation consultants can practice outside of the hospital in homes and in birthing centers. however, this requires me to make a significant investment in supplies/facility that is a risk i don't really want to take. i grew up watching my parents struggle in their home-based businesses and i just don't like the insecurity of maybe or maybe not having 'customers'. to work in a hospital requires an RN for lactation and a masters degree in midwifery for being a nurse midwife. thus my decision to pursue my RN before anything else. besides, maybe going through my labor and delivery rotation will completely turn me off to the birth process...at least i have other options as an RN!
i have started going back to therapy on a weekly basis (i was down to once a month) and am hoping it will be a big help. i am just unable to take my antidepressants because of all the physical side effects, though the medicine works SO WELL to regulate my moods. i see a nice christian woman, which makes it easier to talk about all of my issues. she is able to offer support on an emotional, physical and spiritual level and i think that makes all the difference in the world when dealing with depression. though i am not a person who thinks that praying harder and reading your bible more will cure your mood disorder, spirituality definitely plays a part in recovering from these issues.
i have been having a ton of fun lately with my nephew jesse! we have been to the parks, the oregon zoo, we shop, cook and of course color. he's so well behaved and has such a great personality, i just love him being around. he likes coming over here too because he gets special blueberry 'pannycakes' and he also likes to chase and play with maggie.
i guess that's a brief synopsis of some of my life recently. i'll post a blog entry of pictures, and then one about my most recent trip to see my college roommies from NTBI.

oh....just a teensy bit of conviction

2009-03-04T21:51:00.000-08:00

tonight at bible study beth moore shared some verses from isaiah 58 concerning the outpouring of ourselves to God's glory. the message struck me, as she talked about moving OUT of recovery (from strongholds, addiction, emotional health) and INTO service. 'recovery' is not a state of being. it is not a place that we should be in for long drawn out periods of time. at some point we need to get over our issue and move on with God's desire for our life and pour our lives into others.
having struggled with depression for a lot of years off and on, i realize the point she is making. just like i cannot stay in a place of 'i am depressed', i cannot stay in a place of 'i am recovering from depression' forever. i have to deal with my issues, yes; but the point is not to stay in this place for longer than needed. stepping forth into a life that gives to others and holds nothing back is the ultimate step of faith, trusting that God will sustain me. i fondly remember the way i felt when i used to do youth and collegiate ministry. when i had no strength, patience, will or desire to look beyond myself and care for others i was given the strength, patience, will and desire to do so once i stepped out and did the thing. in the niv version of isaiah 58 verse 11 says that he will 'strengthen your frame (build you up and help you stand-these parentheses mine)' and 'you will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail (you will never run weary of doing good)' when we spend ourselves on others.
i am a pretty selfish person. i like 'things' more than people sometimes. i would rather someone be interested in my life than the other way around. i like sleeping in on the weekends more than getting up and heading out to do community service. i'd rather go to a movie in the evening than hand out emergency blankets to the homeless.
you get the picture.
but this heart attitude is not what will bring the harvest of God's glory to the world. it will only bring destruction (like the life outlined in chapter 59). this was a hard pill to swallow, but please pray for me as i digest it. my life has been called to be something else than what it is, and it's high time my good intentions became good deeds.

when did i become a fuddy duddy?

2009-02-15T20:35:00.000-08:00

today at church (which was awesome by the way) there was a teenage boy sitting 3 rows in front of me. not only did he chew gum the entire time which i tend to think could only be very distracting for him during worship, but he was wearing a baseball cap. when i was a teenager i didn't like that people judged my peers for wearing hats to church. 'it's the heart that matters, not the appearance or dress'. today that changed. i was VERY bothered that this kid was wearing a hat and that his parents didn't make him take it off. i felt like asking him if he had a medical condition that required him to wear the hat and disrespect his worship. i figured that would be out of line, afterall, it IS the heart that the Lord looks at and i just need to get over myself. good lesson to re-learn.

lessons from my dog

2009-02-07T12:38:00.000-08:00

you have probably read my blogs in the past mentioning my dog maggie; this is her! monday is her fourth birthday...don't let her bit of gray fool you :) she has been my little buddy for the last 4 years and i so enjoy having her around. she has even become a member of the whole family, being titled 'grandpuppy' by my mom and dad (who by the way were not dog people before her).

when i got her i wasn't expecting to learn anything from her, afterall, she's an animal. however, i have gleaned so much from this little canine and i thought i'd share some main points with you:

1. be careful when someone comes to the door, but once you know it's someone you like, be VERY EXCITED to see them. they are there to see YOU afterall.

2. cuddle with the people you love.

3. be willing to learn new things. especially when there is a treat at the end of your lesson.

4a. the simple act of being yourself is endearing

4b. the simple act of being yourself and doing what you were created and gifted to do brings worship to God.

5. whenever someone says 'you wanna go outside?' (or to a movie, game, etc) DO IT!

6. loyalty is very important

7. say hello to everyone you meet

8. to really get to know someone, you have to be open, vulnerable and willing to be a little uncomfortable (butt-sniffing comes to mind, though please let's leave that to the dogs)

now, there are a lot of other lessons i have learned from maggie, but these are some of the basics. i have also learned what it might be like for our Heavenly Father to deal with us...you parents out there can draw the same lesson from your relationship with your children. when she does something over and over again that she's not supposed to do, or she destroys something of mine, of course i am upset. in the end though, i still love her and want to see her do 'the right thing' a.k.a. not pee on the floor.
i am very thankful for maggie and her simple companionship. there have been times where she's the only 'friend' i felt i had, and she has been a great help to me through my times of intense anxiety.

happy 4th birthday to

magdalena juanita conchita alonzo riveres gonzales-gonzales

laid up

2009-02-01T00:01:00.000-08:00

for some reason my back went out this evening. it hasn't been this bad in a few years so it kind of took me by surprise. i have a factured vertebra (T-9 to be exact) and it has the tendancy to put pressure on the nerves that come off of that part of the spine. when that happens my back freezes up and is extremely painful. i can't move, it hurts to breathe...just overall unpleasant. i called my mom to come over and rescue me, which she did. i crawled over to the door and unlocked it so she could come in...i felt like i needed one of those life alert necklaces "i've fallen and i can't get up!"
feeling a bit better now, and i'm at least able to sit up straight and walk slowly. gonna take it easy though for the next couple days and make a visit to my chiropractor on monday.
please pray for healing! :)

jouvenile fun

2009-01-23T22:40:00.001-08:00

lately my parents and i have been taking care of my nephew j almost every weekend. though we are sad about the reason why we are seeing so much of him, we are so glad to be able to build relationships with him.
we have had some good fun together lately too, just me and him. he loves maggie and gets a kick out of watching her run around and chase things. we have gone to the park a couple of times, gone shopping, watched movies, cooked and grocery shopping has never been so fun as it was a couple weeks ago!...okay, i have to elaborate on that a little...we went to whole foods, which if you have ever been there you know that they carry 'whole' foods and some pretty wacky items. the seafood section was an absolute amazement to him because he had never seen a whole fish at the store or a whole crab, live lobster, whole chicken or anything in it's somewhat 'natural' state. we went down the asian food section where i was getting some nori for sushi, and he saw some crazy sea urchin looking thing and BEGGED me to buy it for him because "i love this stuff. i eat it all the time" he said. yeah right!! i know the type of food this kid eats and it certainly isn't sea urchin. we then went to the book section of the store (i tried to find a cookbook to no avail :( ) where apparently he had been NEEDING every single book we saw. i couldn't contain my amusement any longer when he picked up a certain book and wanted me to purchase it for him. here's the dialogue:
j: oh man aunt k, i NEED this book. i have been looking for it everywhere!
me: really? THAT book?
j: yeah! it's so good and i have been wanting it for a long time. will you buy it for me?
me: do you know what that book is about?
j: no, but i really need it!
me: j, do you like to eat?
j: (with a look of 'um, duh! of course i like to eat!') yeah!
me: well, that book is about NOT eating.
j: silent, but his face is quizzical....then he speaks..WHAT?!?!? (in a tone that spoke for itself)
me: yeah, i don't think you want that book. maybe when you are older and your liver is dying from preservative overload and cholesterol....
the book was about doing a fasting cleanse for your liver! :) he was such a crack up. we spent about an hour and a half at whole foods looking at everything. i think he has a crush on the cheese sample lady,too.
it's fun to see the world through kid glasses and experience things in a different way. he is still my family, mind you, so he does have quite the ornery side! :) he certainly is a cutie though and i just love spending time with him.

5 years later

2009-01-21T22:03:00.001-08:00

i just realized that it has been 5 years to the day since my cancer mis-diagnosis. i'll never forget the events of that week and how they impacted those around me. my poor parents who didn't quite know what to do or think; and seth who was in the doctor's office with me when i was told my tumor had become cancerous. my friends didn't know what to say to comfort me, and my employer and teachers were thrown for a loop.
i had been diagnosed with a prolactinoma 7 years prior and had tried different medications to treat it, only to find that what didn't make me sick didn't shrink the tumor or was too expensive. i knew the health risks of not undergoing further treatment and kept a watchful eye on symptoms that would suggest my tumor was getting larger or was creating more problems. in january of 2004 i started experiencing some eye pain and my right eye was almost constantly hurting and blood-shot. this was alarming since the tumor sits right above the optic nerve and optic blood vessels. one major side effect of having a pituitary tumor is that you have the possibility of going blind or severely harming the nerves due to it's location. with this concern, i went to urgency care to get it checked out. one thing lead to another, i had an mri the next day and that evening they called me in to share my results...'but be sure to bring someone with you' they said. sheesh!! it was then that i knew something was up and that there was cause for greater concern. seth went with me and was holding my hand as the doctor explained that the tumor had become cancerous and that they were going to need to start treatment. he made an appointment for me to see a neurosurgeon on friday of that week to discuss my 'treatment options'. it was a pretty somber and frightening week. i withdrew from school, went on disability at starbucks and canceled all of my other commitments. i had peace throughout everything that the outcome of all of this would be good, but it still didn't calm my immediate fears of loosing my hair, having brain surgery, etc.
the end of my sureal week came on friday when the neurosurgeon told us (my parents were in the room with me this time) that he had consulted with other doctors and didn't feel that the tumor was cancerous. at first i was shocked and wondered if he was wrong. then i knew that it was the peaceful outcome God had promised me. the fear and anxiety drained out of my parents' faces and we were all glad to hear the good news. it was this event that served as a 'wake-up call' for me regarding my handling of the tumor issue. God very loudly and almost audibly told me that this was His problem to fix and that He would take care of it Himself. all other health matters were up to me to go to a doctor if i wanted, but for this He asked for my faith and patience. ever since, i have done just that. no worries about my tumor-only prayers lifting up my concerns to Him to address. He may never take it from me or allow me to seek medical treatment, and that has to be okay with me. in fact, it IS okay with me. it's such a great release to say 'i'm not dealing with that. God will take care of it if He wants to'. my doctors hate that response i'm sure, but i know i'm doing what i have been told to do by my Great Physician.

a new leaf

2009-01-20T22:23:00.001-08:00

regardless of your flavor of politics, inauguration day should be a hopeful day. having a new president and all that he brings with him is a chance for our country to come and experience something new...TOGETHER. no one knows exactly what the future holds. not democrats. not republicans. not independents either. i hope that the people in this country who are not 'for' our new president can get over their reasons for not liking him and be positive about the opportunity for a fresh, new perspective. i have not always been in favor of President Obama, but pastor john bishop put it in perspective for me a few months ago. he stated that as Christians we know (because the Bible tells us so) that God is in control and that no matter who gets elected to the White House, they are carrying out His will.
there are a lot of celebrities and whatnot out there who are taking a pledge to serve the president and his causes during his term. why this hasn't happened before is beyond me...personally i think it's a bunch of hype. HOWEVER. today i am making my own pledge. i have a tendency to be very judgemental (as if i could run the country any better??) and very partisan. starting today i am hoping to change my mindset about our government and be more positive and supportive. i would like to challenge all of you to make your own pledge regarding this presidency and how you are going to support it or try to be positive about it. being negative, nagging, whiney and otherwise a 'downer' is not productive. we are AMERICANS and we are all in this together. let's act like grown-ups and get over our differences and serve our God by serving, willfully and cheerfully submitting to, and honoring our new government.
MY PLEDGE:
i will speak constructively about our government
i will see President Obama as the man God has placed as the head of our human government in the USA
i will make my voice heard on subjects i am passionate about by voting and writing constructive letters to those in power...not by whining and berating

it's now 5:59 am and i have important information

2009-01-11T05:59:00.000-08:00

soooo, in my insomnia i have been bouncing around A TON OF BLOGS, catching up with people i didn't even know i knew :)

one big theme i saw on almost every blog,even my friend sam's, has been the cpsc testing and ban of certain children's products starting feb 10th. there is a lot of mis-information out there. i went to the government website and copied this straight from the legislation itself:
The new law requires that domestic manufacturers and importers certify that children’s products made after February 10 meet all the new safety standards and the lead ban. Sellers of used children’s products, such as thrift stores and consignment stores, are not required to certify that those products meet the new lead limits, phthalates standard or new toy standards.
The new safety law does not require resellers to test children’s products in inventory for compliance with the lead limit before they are sold. However, resellers cannot sell children’s products that exceed the lead limit and therefore should avoid products that are likely to have lead content, unless they have testing or other information to indicate the products being sold have less than the new limit. Those resellers that do sell products in violation of the new limits could face civil and/or criminal penalties.
When the CPSIA was signed into law on August 14, 2008, it became unlawful to sell recalled products. All resellers should check the CPSC Web site (www.cpsc.gov) for information on recalled products before taking into inventory or selling a product. The selling of recalled products also could carry civil and/or criminal penalties.
While CPSC expects every company to comply fully with the new laws resellers should pay special attention to certain product categories. Among these are recalled children’s products, particularly cribs and play yards; children’s products that may contain lead, such as children’s jewelry and painted wooden or metal toys; flimsily made toys that are easily breakable into small parts; toys that lack the required age warnings; and dolls and stuffed toys that have buttons, eyes, noses or other small parts that are not securely fastened and could present a choking hazard for young children.
let me break this down into more palatable chunks, because i know there are questions about this, and i have been reading about these requirements at my job:

second hand/consignment stores are still able to sell children's toys as long as the toys do not fit into the category of 'likely-to-be-unsafe' toys/products.
there are product lists on the cpsc website that you can reference to see if your toys are safe or are likely to contain high levels of lead.
this does not apply to all clothing (often sheets, blankets, bedding and sleepwear are treated with fire retardants. these chemicals can contain lead, so some of these items can/will be on the naughty list)
home crafters that place products on ebay, etsy and wherever can still do so as long as they can show traceability for their products safety should such documentation be requested (ie: i buy a hand made wooden rattle from a retailer on etsy. that retailer needs to be able to show me that the stain/varnish they used on the rattle does not contain lead)
you didn't hear this from me...but trust me, knowing the business i am in...you don't want your kids playing with most of the toys out there anyway. MANY of them are VERY dangerous. that's all i'm going to say on that topic.

please check out this memorandum that was placed on the cpsc website to clarify your questions:http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml09/09086.html

if you are concerned about any toys or products that you currently have, you can purchase home lead testing kits at sears, ace hardware and online. they are not expensive and can help you get rid of dangerous toys. also, like i mentioned above, go to the cspc site and check out their listings and warnings. there is so much helpful information on that site for things that you didn't even know you should be worried about. it's definitely a site that every parent should check often.

PLEASE pass this information on to parents you know. let your local second-hand/consignment shop owners know that you will be counting on them to be open feb 11th!!! these government agencies are not bull-dogs. they are trying to protect your children from harmful chemicals that no-good, careless, greedy, socialistic countries have put into your children's toys to gain a profit.

let's work together to make this a win-win situation. as gi joe said " now you know...and knowing is half the battle". GO JOE! :)

up at 4:04am

2009-01-11T04:04:00.000-08:00

well, it is pretty darn early here on the west coast. currently a little past 4 am...i am not tired. aargh. a small side effect of my medication is that sometimes i experience insomnia. it has been better lately but right now it might as well be noon! :)

just thought i'd share that with you all!

human trafficking on nbc

2009-01-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

i have a friend who is working on the front lines to end human trafficking in developing countries. i received this information from her via email today and wanted to share it all with you so you could become a little more educated about this horrible trade of human lives.

Law & Order tells a compelling story of child slavery in New York on Wednesday night on NBC at 10 PM/9 central.

Two detectives on the show are investigating a double murder when they uncover and a child slave trade ring between Haiti and New York. "This is one of those rare episodes that touched everyone who worked on it," says Executive Producer Rene Balcer about what he calls probably the most powerful episode of the season. Rene told Free the Slaves, "Even our crusty thick-skinned editors were moved to tears by the ending. It also opened a lot of eyes to the present-day, modern-world reality of slavery and indentured servitude.
I would urge everyone who, as a result of this e-blast, watches the episode to call NBC thanking them for allowing the writers and producers of Law & Order to shine a spotlight on this issue." [NBC Viewer Services at 212-664-5740]Getting slavery into the mainstream is a core goal of FTS. We're thrilled that one of the most popular TV shows in history is highlighting slavery. The producers of the show were inspired to write the episode, "Chattel", after reading 'A Crime So Monstrous' by Ben Skinner. Ben traveled around the world researching slavery and visiting FTS' partners including in Haiti. The show illustrates some of the psychological complexity of working with the victims of slavery who have spent years living with deprivation and fear.
Keep in mind, the episode is not a documentary so when you hear Sam Waterson say there are no anti-trafficking statutes in New York – thankfully that is no longer true. In fact, New York recently passed an anti-trafficking law and is one of 40 states that have criminal anti-trafficking statutes on the books. But only half of those states have victim protection laws to help the survivors of slavery. You can find out more about child domestic slavery in Haiti [the restavek system] and what FTS is doing with partners to combat it here: http://www.freetheslaves.net/LimyeLaviAnd…FTS is featured on the Law & Order website: http://www.nbc.com/Law_and_Order/

although this episode is not based on any particular case, please take it to heart. the only thing worse than the actual atrocities is learning about them and doing nothing to stop it. visit the websites listed above, along with ijm.org to learn more about how to help slaves, former slaves and the people who are working to free them.

first day back

2009-01-05T21:40:00.001-08:00

today was my first day back at work after 2 months off. all in all it was a good day. nobody asked me intruding questions, and i didn't get any weird looks from people. at first i was kind of timid setting up my computer for the day ( starting all of my software programs and logging into our phones and whatnot ) and forgot how to log into one of the programs. i ran through some options and then figured it out by myself...like a big girl. i remembered all of my passwords which was quite amazing!!
when i opened up my main database, i discovered i had 236 emails in my inbox! luckily most were either junk or so outdated that i knew someone had already handled them. it took me about an hour and a half to weed through them all and get caught up. later on i did assign myself some emails from our main work queue to handle and i think i completed 3 or 4 emails (i only worked 4 hours today). i did take 2 phone calls, which made me feel very apprehensive. they were easy ones though and both required me to transfer them to another department for assistance. i was a little slow answering the phone and multitasking, but i know it will come back to me soon! :)
please continue to pray for me as i make the transition back to work. i told my roomie tonight on the way home from small group that i didn't want to go to work tomorrow...she laughed :) but in all seriousness, i have never been a person who likes to be super structured at work and i hate the 40 hour work week. i was not created to be this typical american worker so it is really frustrating for me to get up in the morning knowing that i have to put in a day's work when there are other things i would rather be doing. i know i was very spoiled and fortunate to have this time off, and i definitely needed it, but it just showed me how i am not cut out for the standard daily grind. until God provides something different though, i need to be grateful to have a job, go to it willingly and enthusiastically every day.

merry christmas from the family

2008-12-25T17:54:00.000-08:00

christmas at the family homestead was pretty low key this year. it seems that as you get older and people have commitments to other families (in-laws and such) that you don't get quite as worked up about christmas morning as you used to. it's still a wonderful time of course to get together and spend time with eachother and celebrate our Savior's birth. there are still surprises to be had as well as you open up all of your presents from friends and family near and far.

mom and i made a big christmas breakfast since everyone was getting together in the morning before heading out to see other family.

jeff and jesse came by...they really are happy people i promise :)

breanne, seth and i

dad doesn't need to by books for a while, he's pretty set

after breakfast and present opening we just hung around the house. family called from florida, indiana, california and up north in bothell so we got to share christmas with extended family even if it was by phone.

i hope you all had a wonderful christmas and got to spend some quality time with your families.

only 354 more days until next christmas!!

wonderful wintery wishes

2008-12-20T01:41:00.000-08:00

** * ** ** ** ****** *** * * * *** ** * ** * * * *** *** ** * * *

** * ** ** * **** I LOVE SNOW*** * *** ** * * * *** ** **

** * * ** * * * * *** * * * * * **** *** * * * ** * ** ** ** ** *** ** *

every year i wait very impatiently for the first snow fall on the valley floor. usually this doesn't happen until about mid january. however, this year God has shown His love for the people of the willamette valley and given us snow before christmas. did you know that we may actually have a

WHITE CHRISTMAS!!!!???

it's true. according to the weather channel 10 day forecast, we could have snow on the ground christmas day. this hope makes me so happy!

things i love about snow:

the way it crunches under your feet like popcorn
everything becomes glisteny and glittery
even at midnight, it is so light outside because every beam of light reflects off of the snow
except for little kids playing, it gets so quiet outside

i hope that you get to enjoy the snow! remember to drive slowly and carefully if you go out on the streets and never underestimate the road conditions :)

christmas!

2008-12-16T01:58:00.000-08:00

i love christmas! december 26th is the worst day of the year for me because it means that i have to wait another 364 days for christmas to be here again. i do try to savor the holiday season though by decorating my house, doing fun holiday things and listening to inordinate amounts of christmas music.
this year was fun setting up for christmas because N and D were here to share it with me; whereas last two years i have been living alone. last friday i posed the question of going to get a christmas tree and N became very excited about the thought of WALKING to the corner to get our tree and CARRYING it back down mill plain blvd. as crazy as it sounded....it also sounded fun :) so we bundled up and headed out. we had walked this same distance during the summer going to sheridan's for ice cream but let me tell you, the walk seemed a lot longer when it was 35 degrees out versus the hot summer afternoon! we walked around for a bit looking for the 'perfect' tree. after about 20 minutes of looking we found the one....we named him "gap tooth" because he has quite a gap at the top between some of the branches. the guy at the tree stand made fun of us for carrying the tree home and kept trying to convince us that we needed help. we told him he was a chauvenist and that women can do anything they set their minds to and walked off...carrying our tree.

maggie had to have a say in what tree we picked too...after all, she is a member of this household! ;)

D...cute as always (p.s. she's getting married in less than a week!!! woo hoo! )

i am not excited at all to be christmas tree hunting. nope, not at all.

N dancing to the christmas music with Doug...doug fir that is!

we must have been quite a site to see, walking down mill plain with our christmas tree in tow! i commented that all that was missing from this norman rockwell-ian scene was a few inches of snow on the ground :)

we got it home just fine and set it up right away. i love trees that go all the way up to the ceiling but that aren't too fat around, so this tree is perfect! gap tooth and all :)

mom dates

2008-12-16T01:40:00.001-08:00

on saturday N, J and i took our moms for a nite out on the town! first we went to the keller auditorium to see the oregon ballet theater perform george balanchine's 'the nutcracker'. it's the only performance on the west coast of this choreography and it was gorgeous. there is nothing like hearing beautiful life orchestra accompaniment to this classic ballet.
after the nutcracker we took our moms to pf chang's in the pearl for dinner. please keep in mind that these were all new experiences for our mothers!! first time at the ballet, first time at the restaurant...first time eating the yummy lettuce wraps there :) we had such fun! each mother/daughter combo ordered their own choice of appetizers then we swapped and shared some too. after dinner we went across the street to peet's for coffee and hot chocolate. we stayed there for probably another hour just chatting. our mom's hadn't ever met eachother before so it was neat for them to get to know one another. it was also neat for us girls to see our moms have so much fun and getting a glimpse of the lives we lead as 'young single gals' :)

what a fun evening! we will have to to it again!

homecoming

2008-12-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

a week ago i 'moved' back home after being at my parents house for about three weeks. i had been there not to avoid my roommies but to just get a chance to chill out and have some company ( my mom is home full time ), etc. since my meds have been working well and i am feeling much better, i decided to make my way back to my apartment and resume life with N and D. to celebrate my homecoming, last night the girls prepared dinner and we watched 'chocolat' and had a girl's night in.

N made delicious tomato-red pepper soup and savory pumpkin scones, while D picked out the movie for us to watch.

thank you ladies!! ; ) it's good to be home

expectations

2008-12-02T10:54:00.000-08:00

since i have been on disability these last several weeks, i have been trying to pin point what threw me off course, if there was one thing in particular. while this may not be the 'the thing' that made me go crazy it certainly was one of the straws that broke the camel's back. that thing is expectations.

i am a person who has high expectations. i expect a lot out of myself. i expect a lot of my family. i expect a lot from my friends and those that i live with. i expect a lot from those that i work with and for. i don't expect perfection out of anyone but myself, but i do desire to see everyone else at least try to reach perfection or 'compliance' (if you will).

in comparing my expectations to those of other people and what they consider 'high' expectations, i found that my expectations were not that high. this depresses me even further. the fact that my expectations are not actually even high yet everyone seems to still not measure up. it was one thing to think 'maybe i am asking too much of people. that's why they never meet my expectation'. it's another thing to ponder 'it turns out i am not asking that much out of people, yet they still let me down. does this mean they don't care about me? does it mean that they are just plain irresponsible? does this mean that they are dumb and don't know how to do whatever simple thing i want them to be doing?'

these questions in the head of a passive aggressive person like me is not good. i don't like confrontation because i have never gotten good results from it. people just end up feeling guilty or shamed into whatever it is that i need/want from them and that's not the goal. on the other hand, passive aggressive techniques are lost on people who are clueless to their surroundings so i don't see results there either. again, this further depresses me because i feel helpless to fix the situation. i feel like i have to live with these conditions and i don't know how to. sure i could pick up everyone elses slack, but i shouldn't have to do that. there are measures put in place so that everyone can share the load (the expectation) yet when the load is not shared it all piles on to one person's shoulders (the dissapointment and depression and resentment begins).

i don't know how to live with expectations and i don't know how to live without them. however, until i learn how to assert myself and gain compliance to my expectations i am going to have to drop all expectations i have of others. so there you go world, i expect nothing of you.

now why do i feel even more depressed??

thanksgiving

2008-11-27T09:18:00.000-08:00

it may be cliche to post a 'happy thanksgiving' post about all of the things i am grateful for, but those of you who know me know that i am cliche : ) so here it goes:

i am thankful for my great parents who are being so supportive of me right now. during this time of struggle with my depression i have needed almost constant 'supervision' until my new meds start working. they have been wonderful to me!

i am thankful for my diligent friends who keep checking up on me : ) you really do find out who your friends are when you go through hard times.

i am thankful that maggie is almost oblivious to what is going on with me. she still mopes a little and is cuddling with me a lot, but her tail still never stops wagging. playing with her and watching her run around makes me forget about my circumstances and cheers me up.

i am thankful for my job and the wonderful benefits that they have. so many people are out of work right now and are wondering where they are going to get money to eat and pay rent. my job has been paying me IN FULL during my time away on disability. what a blessing!

last but not least, i am thankful for my faith and that God has blessed me with His grace. every day i fail and fall short of what He requires, but every day He forgives me and shows me that true love restores the heart. i can't tell you why He allows bad things to happen in this world, but i can tell you that He is the greatest comfort i have ever found.

i hope that you can make your own list, however short or long, about what you are thankful for this year. it really does put things in perspective and makes me realize that even when we face struggles, we are still so blessed and are never without cause to be thankful.

happy thanksgiving everyone!

a wii bit of fun

2008-11-16T23:37:00.000-08:00

last night i spent some time at my friend d's house playing wii. if you have never played wii, you need to make fast friends with someone who has one and get to playing. i have been wanting one for a while but didn't want to make the big leap and purchase one until i had a chance to play it and decide if i really couldn't live without it. tennis, bowling, baseball and guitar hero are really fun. i am basically a bowling master already. my roommate n and i really want to get a video game console so that we can sing karaoke american idol style ( after seeing baby mamma, we decided we couldn't live without this game for long ).

i was never a video gamer as a kid or teen. i don't have great hand-eye coordination so when mario brothers came out in the 80's and i couldn't even get past the first level, i gave up on 'vids'. wii, however, is another story and i cannot see myself going longer than a year without purchasing this for myself.

it's a brave new world

gotta keep singing

2008-11-11T22:14:00.001-08:00

i have loved this song for quite some time now, but today it seemed especially fitting seeing what i am going through right now. here are the words:

keep singing
by mercy me

another rainy day
i can't recall having sunshine on my face
all i feel is pain
all i wanna do is walk out of this place

but when i am stuck and i can't move
and i don't know what i should do
when i wonder if i'll ever make it through

i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
you're the one who's keeping my heart beating

i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
that's the only way that i find healing

can i climb up in your lap, i don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
i gotta keep singing

can i climb up in your lap, i don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me, you're everything i need
i gotta keep singing

...helps to put things in perspective and remind me that my Healer is always standing by, waiting for me to call on Him. Jesus never promised us a perfect life, and He certainly never said we would never suffer. there is a way to remain hopeful in our hopelessness, though. i am firm in my faith in Christ however hard the waves may crash against me.

i give up

2008-11-09T21:35:00.000-08:00

this post is really a downer, so if you don't feel like slitting your wrists today, i suggest you move on to something else.

i give up on trying to be responsible
i give up on investing in people only to have them spit in my face
i give up on hoping people will 'come around'
i give up on feeling guilty for things that aren't even my fault
i give up on trying to be open and share my life with others
i give up on giving people the benefit of the doubt

i give in to being cynical
i give in to being jaded
i give in to being hardened
i give in to being apathetic
i give in to becoming a person i don't even like for the sake of not having to struggle

i am going away with my mom for a few days to regain some type of sanity and life. i figured this would be a better option than joining a cult. not that being with my mom is like being in a cult... that's not the point i am making. the point is that i am extremely low. i have had serious thoughts lately of packing my belongings, as much as would fit in my car, and just moving somewhere. joining a life that my family and friends disapprove of so that i could cut ties and start over. i just want to withdraw from this life and start a new one. maybe then i could feel freer to show my true emotions and be a genuine person. or maybe i would find that no matter where you go, people are always going to let you down and there is no sense in trying to avoid it. learn to live with the bitterness and disappointment.

who knows

simple pleasures, installment 2

2008-10-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

i have been lazy about my blog this last week. to be honest, i have been super 'blue' lately which is why i wanted to try to notice and take pleasure in the 'simple pleasures' in life day-to-day. sometimes i let life get away from me and i stop taking the time to enjoy what is going on around me. rest assured, even though i haven't blogged my simple pleasures lately i have still had my eye out.
picking up where i left off : )
saturday 10/10: making yummy, very spicy salsa
sunday:lunch w/ becky at the olive garden
monday:maggie was so incredibly happy i could have sworn her tail was going to fly off her backside
tuesday:beautiful watercolor sunrise
wednesday:i got 4 free compact fluorescent lightbulbs at work
thursday:i watched the office and snl with friends
friday:i wore jeans to work (i do every friday, but it is always a treat)
saturday:mom and i took maggie to the new dog park, the weather and the park were great
sunday:went shopping with mom for new bedroom décor
monday:bible study at the martens - we had good laughs there at the end : )
tuesday:i wore my favorite scarf

there you have it! i encourage you to keep a log for a while of these small things that make you smile. don't just keep looking at forests, keep your eyes open for the trees : )

simple pleasures

2008-10-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

so wednesday i posted about my love of my sweatshirt. this prompted me to think about the simple pleasures in life. it is my goal for the next two weeks to find one simple thing every day to be happy about or cheered up by.

wednesday: my hoosier sweatshirt
thursday: i saw two deer crossing lake road
friday: the word snow was said for the first time since last winter

i will keep you all updated and on the edge of your seats...i wonder what tomorrow will bring?? : )

yippie for today

2008-10-08T18:22:00.001-07:00

i put on my favorite sweatshirt just now. i will compose a poem about it for you all:

hoosier sweatshirt, so red and so soft

you make me feel cozy with your downy loft

not too big, and not too small

i would wear you all day, even to the mall

there you have it. i love fall, i love my sweatshirt, i love today because of them both.

tagged by sam

2008-10-04T15:56:00.000-07:00

10 years ago.....
1.) i was 18
2.) i had just graduated from high school
3.) i was driving a 1991 Ford Crown Victoria
4.) i got my first job
5.) i moved to jackson michigan and went to bible school there

5 Things on my "to do list" today.....
1.) take a shower
2.) go shopping with my mom
3.) clean the kitchen
4.) laundry
5.) drink some coffee...the headache is coming on

5 Snacks I enjoy.....
1.) chips and my homemade Guacamole.
2.) yogurt
3.) coffee
4.) chips
5.) croutons

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire.....
1.) pay off my parent's house
2.) buy a house
3.) buy a honda pilot
4.) buy a baby
5.) give money to pregnancy resource center and charis counseling services

5 Places I have lived.....only 5? : )
1.) vancouver
2.) escondido, ca
3.) fresno, ca
4.) visalia, ca
5.) peru, in
...6.) jackson, mi

5 Jobs I have had.....
1.) customer service - u.l., jc penney, craft warehouse
2.) barista, shift supervisor, asm - starbucks
3.) youth ministries intern
4.) barista
5.) barista

interesting...?!

2008-09-30T22:59:00.001-07:00

so, apparently i need to convert because this online test says i should be muslim. if it weren't for the internet i might have been a christian all my life. thank you, internet quiz for showing me the light.

identity crisis

2008-09-16T13:09:00.000-07:00

well, today it is official. my name has changed. at work, that is.

for the last two years i have been listed by my full legal first name, middle initial and last name in our databases at work. the reason i had my middle initial was to differentiate myself from another woman in a different office with the same first and last name. middle initial and all, we still got eachother's phone calls, emails and instant messages. we would forward everything on to one another and got pretty used to the hassle but i decided to put an end to it once and for all by changing my first name to my 'nickname' and removing the middle initial.

this change has thrown me for a loop though! at every job i have been at, all paperwork and computers listed me with my full name - never my nickname. even at school most classes had me listed with my full name. to see my short little name all over everything now is pretty odd. i don't know how i like it. even though my entire life i have been 'referred to' as my nickname, the long name was always there. now it is gone. it's almost disconcerting. i know i will get over it at some point and my little name will become normal but it may take a while.

i have always wondered if i would change my last name when i got married. i love my last name ( my first and middle names too!) and am soooo attached to it. this pretty much cements it. i will never change my last name.

to my girls

2008-09-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

this afternoon my friend katrina and i went to see 'the sisterhood of the traveling pants 2', even though neither one of us had seen the first one : ) what a cute movie it was! we both cried a little, as it hits some of those universal 'girl' issues and the characters have such a bond. what i came away with though was such an appreciation for all of the girls in my life that have played such an integral role in shaping me.

it reminded me of the times my girlfriends and i have taken road trips
-chicago with elisa, sharon and kristyl
-the glorieta trips and mission trips with michelle, carla, chele,paige, amy and katrina
-southern california with heidi, carla and michelle
-caribbean cruise with michelle and beth
-the idaho fiasco of 2004 with sam

and also of the crazy things we have done together
-running out in thunderstorms, navigating the tunnels w/ my ntbi girls
-girl's night at the wiesers (when they were gone and michelle and i house sat ) where we all planned our weddings (bsm girls )
-30 second dance parties
-house sitting at the warman's and thinking the house was broken into ( sam, becky and deanna)
-gone snipe hunting in the middle of the night (sam, brianna, and a bunch of guys)
-moving in together (n and d)

these things mentioned above are only a fraction of the memories we have together; some of the girls i named are like the sisters i never had. i thank God upon every memory of them for their friendship and encouragement. there have been times where we have been together and i wished that the moment would never end. i knew in those moments that what i had was so special that i would never be the same.

thank you, my sisters for being my friends, my encouragers, my partners in crime, my sounding boards, my good sense, and my prayer partners.

i love you all!

tagged

2008-09-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

this comes courtesy of my friend sam.

1. What are the last 3 things you purchased?
Prescriptions for me
Table cloth and napkins
Prescriptions for Maggie

2. What are the last 3 songs you downloaded to your iPod?
boy named sue - johnny cash
barracuda - heart
like a prayer - madonna

3. What are your 3 favorite movies?
how to lose a guy in 10 days
godfather
the family man

4. What are 3 things you haven’t done yet?
gone to europe
bought a house
paid off my debt

5. What are 3 thing you can’t live without (not counting people)?
cheese
maggie
music

6. What are your 3 favorite dishes?
lasagne
fajitas
baked sweet potatoes

7. What are your 3 favorite T.V shows?
jon and kate plus 8
naked archaeologist
desperate housewives

8. Where are the three last places you traveled to (more than 100 miles away)?
michigan
grandparent's house in bothell
carribean

9. What are 3 things you would buy if money wasn’t an issue?
a huge house to fill with kids who need a family(sorry i am a copy cat, sam : )
a brand new house for my parents
musical instruments for all students who want to take band

10. If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?
for energy issues to be solved
for everyone in the world to have food, clothing, shelter, love and education
to have a room for all of my crafts :)

if only it weren't science fiction

2008-09-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

with all the buzz about the large hadron collider in europe, the science geek in me has blossomed. luckily, i am surrounded by science geeks at work.

one of the conversations that took place today was regarding loosing gravity and it's relation to black holes and alternate universes. in a theoretical alternate universe we discussed, there was no gravity....there are benefits to this universe, we decided. here are some of them:

-no anti-aging cream needed
-no more pesky 'walking'
-screws and nails would be very valuable, due to having to affix all furniture and fixtures to floors and walls
-the concept of seeing floating people in horror movies is no longer scary. what is scary now is seeing people standing still...'they aren't floating, they must have special gravity powers'
-no shoes required. elbow pads and helmets recommended
-the paralyzed are no longer confined to wheelchairs and rascals
-travel is very cheap, as you don't need an 'aeroplane' to fly

there were no downsides discussed. this universe is without downfall. because in a world without gravity there is no 'down'.

(get it? : ) if you didn't, you need to geek up. )

update on the veg diet

2008-09-10T10:37:00.000-07:00

several months ago i started experiencing some odd and uncomfortable health issues. ultimately it was diagnosed by my doc to be gall bladder disease. my liver isn't so healthy, so it is effecting my gall bladder and making my tummy hurt when i eat certain foods. a brief list of these foods is found on the right hand side of my page here.

the doc ( and a lot of research ) said to go off of meat products and fatty/greasy foods. the reason that i cannot tolerate these anymore is because the effort it takes your body to digest them is more than my gall bladder is putting out. after a few months of making the transition ( and some painful learning along the way ) i have a pretty good idea of what i can eat and what will make me sick. i have also learned how to compensate my diet to make up for the protein i am missing by not eating meat. here are some of my lessons:

-just say no to soy 'beef' strips from morningstar farms. their 'chicken' is really good though. so are the 'corn dogs'
-combining your proteins within a meal or over the course of your day is very important. examples include : yogurt and granola, beans and rice, beans and cheese
-this is a great recipe : Ultimate Protein 'Fried' Rice - edamame, 2 eggs, carrots, celery, brown rice, chopped peanuts. top w/ soy sauce, green onions. 40 grams of protein in one serving!!! if you want the details on that recipe leave a comment and i'll get it to you. : )
-the amount of protein in foods is greatly misunderstood. people often overestimate by very large amounts how much 'energy' they are getting from food. here is a break-down:
*peanuts 9g/quarter cup *yogurt 8-12g/1cup *edamame 14g/half cup
*egg 6g/one egg *beans 7-10g/half cup *pumpkin seeds 19g/quarter cup
*cheese 6-8g/ounce *brown rice 4.5g/1cup *steak 42g/6oz
*chicken 30g/3.5 oz * fish=tuna 40g/6 oz, or 22g/3.5 oz other fish

now, compare these amounts to what you are supposed to have every day...some of these are a drop in the bucket. to figure out how much protein you need in a day, multiply your weight in pounds by .37. this is how many grams of protein you need to sustain your body. less will cause your body to leach it out of your muscles ( gross ); more will cause your body to have sustained energy but also the chance that it will be stored as fat in your liver.

overall lesson today: balance is the key to everything. protein management is not exempt. i like eating vegetables and have been feeling so good since i have stopped ( or drastically cut down on the amount ) eating meat.

long live the cows....cause i'm not eating them : )

add it to the reading list

2008-09-08T13:13:00.000-07:00

there is a book called 'having a mary heart in a martha world' by joanna weaver.

apparently i need to read it.

does anyone else struggle with this?

i would love to be a 'mary' and just roll with the punches. 'sure! invite 70 more people for dinner. it's no big deal' or 'oh, sure, come on over. i'll run errands another time' or ' don't worry about cleaning that up. you go have fun, i'll take care of it'.

but alas, i am a 'martha'. 'no, i am only cooking for 8. this is what i planned. i am not a short-order cook' or 'come over later, please. if i don't run my errands now then my whole day will be off' or 'clean it up yourself. be responsible'.

mary has a soft heart and is gracious. but don't let that fool you, her generosity can be rude in the way it effects others. martha is ordered and conscientious. but again, she can seem rude and brash and ungracious.

there is nothing inherently wrong with either one of these women. the trick is balance.

i am not good at balance.

the reasons that come to mind when i make an argument against the 'mary' opinion seem shallow and not what Jesus would do ( wouldn't He just set another plate?). on the flip side, my 'martha' arguments can seem like there are no boundaries and people should be doormats (we need to cut it off somewhere! ).

i guess i have some reading to do.

28 things i love...

2008-09-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

the beach
fancy things
pretty fingernails
rice
puppies
memories of college
vanilla ice cream
traveling
documentaries
doodling
vacuuming
dahlias
yellow
white puffy clouds
spreadsheets
parakeets
new clothes
eye drops
swimming
clean bedding
feta cheese
drives in the country
earrings
naps
having the windows open
brownies
stories kids tell
HGTV

how dramatic

2008-08-31T14:00:00.000-07:00

i made the decision the other day to pick up my inductive study bible and go through it front to back. i have been needing a more in-depth, inductive study of the Word and this particular bible was designed to offer that. as i was reading in exodus this morning, those israelites cracked me up. case in point:

exodus 14:11-12 (this was after moses lead the people out of egypt so that they could go worship God, the celebration of Succoth; but before the red sea event. pharaoh took his army and went to find the israelites to take them back into captivity. the israelites saw the pharaohs army coming toward them, and this was their response)"they said to moses, 'was it because there were no graves in egypt that you brought us to the desert to die? what have you done to us bringing us out of egypt?didn't we say to you in egypt 'leave us alone, let us serve the egyptians?' it would have been better for us to serve the egyptians than to die in the desert!'"

OKAY smarty-pants israelites "were there no more graves in egypt" come on!! get over yourselves! what kind of a question is that anyway? they were sooo dramatic and sooo untrusting of the Lord. unfortunately this wasn't the first time or the last time that they would cop this attitude. can't say as though i don't either though. if i were to look through my prayer journals over the years there would be plenty of pleadings, questionings and snotty comments to God that quite closely resemble the israelites.

guess i have no ground to judge, but they were still way too melodramatic

no paper left behind

2008-08-28T13:35:00.001-07:00

just because i left my green blog does not mean i am now a planet hater : ) i fully intend on posting green tips here on my new blog so that we can continue to exchange ideas on eco-friendly topics.

last night i was watching 'wasted' on planet green channel. if you haven't watched this program before i really recommend it. your eyes will be opened to the practical ways you can change your lifestyle and home to be mindful of your waste. one of the struggles that the subject family had was that they consumed almost 1 ton of paper per year in the form of catalogs. CATALOGS!! this made me think about the normal family and how much paper they must consume just with bills, newspapers, junk mail, etc. here are some tips i thought of (some of them i have already been doing out of convenience) and wanted to share:

have your bank statements and credit card statements emailed to you

get your bills emailed to you instead of paper copies ( i do this with my cell phone,cable, and N does it for our electric bill)

get email alerts for sales at your fave stores instead of getting catalogs and postcards in the mail

there are other paper items that we love and really would be inconvenient to get rid of or do electronically. for these things, use your recycle bin and/or creativity. the age-old usage for newspaper: potty pads for the puppy or bird, wrap a gift with the comics, make paper airplanes or pirate hats to occupy your kiddos. one of my friends is a kindergarten teacher and she loves magazines so that she can do 'scavenger hunts' with the kids on rainy days when recess is not an option - do you know a teacher that you could donate your left over magazines to? also, for the sensitive items that you do continue to get by mail (credit card offers), shred them and put them in your compost pile. they will decompose and there will be no paper trail! : )

lessons learned from hollywood

2008-08-27T16:29:00.000-07:00

last night my roomies, los animales,JVB and i watched 'vantage point'. the movie's subject is the attempted assassination of a US president who was speaking at an international peace summit in spain. the story is the assassination from the 'vantage point' of 6 different individuals.

webster's dictionary defines 'vantage point' as: a position or standpoint from which something is viewed or considered. this definition alludes to the 'point' being a physical or emotional place, not a principle as i once thought. throughout the film we witness the shooting as the different characters saw it with their eyes. we also see 23 minutes of their life before the shooting. i think this gives an interesting angle to the storytelling. what they were doing before the event shaped how they perceived it. it set up their vantage point.

we all have certain opinions of events, people, politics, religious principles, etc. these opinions shape emotions -hopefuly not the other way around!- and eventually become personally held truths (thank you psych 101) about 'the way things are' or 'ought to be'. there are some opinions that are wrong; those that go against blatant black and white scripture commandments for example, but there are others that are grey or have no 'color' because they are amoral. it is these opinions, feelings and thoughts that, if considered with grace, can offer great insight into other's lives. we can understand their childhood, relationships with family members; we can see who has encouraged them and who has torn them apart. bad choices. good choices. forgiveness and bitterness. all of these experiences color the glasses we see the world through - our emotional and physical vantage point.

God in His mercy has extended small ( very small - minuscule ) little drops of mercy to me to extend to others, as i am not a merciful person by nature. this mercy has allowed me to consider others' vantage points and understand how they are feeling/thinking. when we take the time to invest in another person we not only see the surface situation (the shooting, as it were) but also the background (the 23 minutes before the shooting) which can help us be a better friend and understand them in a new way.

deep principle from a 90 minute movie.

congratulations chris and cara!

2008-08-24T23:06:00.000-07:00

today my two friends chris and cara were married at vancouver lake. the wedding was beautiful and perfectly captured their personalities and style. i was honored to be asked to make their wedding cake and it was so much fun! i was worried about the weather and how the heat/humidity would effect the frosting, but didn't have too much trouble.

i had fun with the flavors too. the bottom layer was chocolate ( which had been soaked with coffee ) with mocha filling, the middle was chocolate with cream cheese, the top of course was carrot with cream cheese. the two side cakes were vanilla with brown sugar filling and a lemon with blueberry/cream cheese cake. the mocha went FAST! :)
it was a great experience doing my first wedding cake, but i couldn't have done it without the help of my mom : ) thank you marmie!

blessing of peace

2008-08-19T22:47:00.000-07:00

when i was a child we attended a few calvary chapel churches in california; if you are familiar with cc churches you are familiar with the symbol below

i have always had a special affinity for the symbol of the dove because of my upbringing and the frequency of it's appearance in my spiritual life. i accepted Christ as my savior at a calvary chapel church and as i said before, this icon was present there. my father's wedding ring has a dove on it. he also had a bible with the dove on the cover. the story of noah and the dove with the branch. at Christ's baptism we see the Holy Spirit descend from heaven in the form of a dove. more than the cross this symbol has been to me a promise of restoration, peace and fulfillment. the scripture promises us that when we surrender our lives to the Lord that we are filled with the Spirit. it is this Spirit that baptizes and seals us into God's kingdom and places us in His family forever. our gift of the great Counselor and constant peace. i know i am redeemed because of the indwelling of the Person the dove represents. i now choose to wear this icon around my neck as an outward testimony and reminder of the peace i have with my Creator.

sugar and flour, butter and eggs

2008-08-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

some of you know that i make cakes 'on the side' as a quasi-hobby. last week my friend ronika asked if i would make a cake for her son's pirate themed birthday. i was so excited! i hadn't done a fun cake like that since my friend eric's spongebob squarepants birthday ( what other kind of birthday would you have if you were turning 21? : ). i also used this opportunity to get back in the groove of cakery as i will be doing my friends cara and chris' wedding cake later this week. upon request, here are pics of the pirate fun:

the volcano island was a mound of remnant cake, an inverted ice cream cone and fish tank flora :) i also had some silver and gold edible glitter that i sprinkled on the 'sand' to make it glisten
yep, i had to build that ship from a model kit. the first model i have ever built i think

great compassion

2008-08-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

last night i went to dinner with my girlfriends sam and stacy. we were 'celebrating' and saying good bye to stacy as she is going back to south asia to work with a human rights agency there. stacy has long been an inspiration to me in her compassion she possesses for all people. i have a huge tendency to judge and think 'people brought this on themselves' and 'if they wanted out of their bad situation they could get out'. i know this isn't always an accurate assessment of people's life conditions, but it is just how my sinful attitude goes sometimes. stacy, on the other hand, has always defended the people she comes in contact with; trying to understand their situations and show them love rather than pass undue judgement. her heart is so big and the Lord has used her (and will continue to use her) to show me the hurting world around me. on the way home, me and sam were talking about places we would like to live or visit someday. sam loves africa and has a burden for the children there. i expressed that at one time i too had a burden for the people of that continent. she asked why i didn't anymore and it really caused me to think. i replied that i think it's rooted in fear. fear that if i went there and saw what conditions the people there live in that my heart would break and i'd never get over it. i feel like anything i ever did would never be enough and i could never solve the situation myself so i had better just stay out of it and 'save' my heart. 'what a backwards thought' i said. sam replied with ' you may not be able to change the lives of all the people, but you may be able to change the life of one person'. wow. this is something i have heard so many times, and have probably said it myself, but it really hit me just then. changing one life for the better is worth my broken heart. Jesus' body was beaten and bruised beyond recognition for my life. though He did it for all mankind, He would have done it just for me. no questions asked, no blaming me for getting my life screwed up, just heartbreaking compassion and an intense desire to see me restored.
i can't say that i am moving to uganda tomorrow to build an HIV clinic, or that i am going to move to india to save girls from prostitution or give every penny i make to humanitarian organizations; but i understand now what is expected of my heart and that if i am called to reach out to the hurting i have to do it without hesitation. my fear is not an excuse for another person not getting to experience God's great compassion.

ah, the fair

2008-08-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

yesterday N, JVB and i went to the clark county fair. oh, how i love the fair. i don't like rides, and the prices are outrageous for food/drinks, but i love it anyway. if nothing else it provides boundless sociological wonderment.

our tall, dark, handsome (?) man
ready to rope and ride
awwwww....

we had a good time walking around to see all the animals and various artisan booths. we also took in an american classic...the dirt track road course. we commented on how this event probably did not exist in other cultures, and that only an american could appreciate the beauty of a run down piece of junk car going around an obstacle course and barely making out in one piece. i have included a video for your enjoyment.

elephant ears :$4.50, dairy maids milkshakes :$4.95, fair entrance :$9.00 = fair experience: PRICELESS

lingua non-conforma

2008-08-06T15:31:00.000-07:00

i am reading a book called "the mother tongue: english and how it got that way" by bill bryson. i have been a fan of bill's since partially reading " a short history of nearly everything" a few years ago. this book caught my eye just as i was leaving borders the other day...empty handed i might add. i love learning about language, and especially since now i live with N who studied linguistics in college i hear a lot about the subject. it fascinates me how we can form thoughts, turn them into words that actually have value in our culture, say them, have them be understood ( most of the time ) by the listener and communicate a message. incredible. this book is about how english came to be and how it is such an amalgamation of german, celtic, gaelic, french and latin. history of language and people movement is covered starting at the beginning of time with 'cro-magnon man'. today i learned about how we have made up words as well as how we effectively destroy some of them with lazy speech patterns. here are some of the interesting things i have learned over the past few days in reading:
* shakespeare made up over 1,700 words...bump being one of them
* the city of paris' name is not french, it is celtic. (take that D :)
* english is the only language that needs/has a thesaurus. we have over 60k synonyms.
* in 1290, 'nice' meant foolish and stupid. in 1350 it meant wanton and lascivious. over the next 400 years it also meant extravagant, unmanly, modest, slight, shy, and dainty. in 1769 it finally made it to something of it's current meaning: pleasant and agreeable.
*in the language pekignese, the sound for 'yi' stands for 215 separate words.
you may thing it was an odd pick for leisurely reading, but i really recommend it. there is no heroine to fall in love with and no action packed pages, but it's so very interesting that i can hardly put it down.
i'm off to read more now!

falling apart

2008-08-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

i didn't go to church this morning, mainly because i didn't feel like going. i have been dealing with some issues lately that nag at my heart. i kind of took my time getting ready for the day and got on to the church website looking for who knows what. i decided to watch a video sermon ( since i wasn't going to church i had better 'redeem' myself, right? ) from living hope, and came across one that danny clinton had preached a while back. i love listening to danny so i decided to play it. i didn't really know what i was in for. the sermon touched on every point that is sour in my heart right now. bitterness. selfishness. pride. noise. these are not things i like to admit, but i figure we all deal with them at some point so why not own up to it? why am i so dead-set on ME? i love others, so why do i really only want to see my will accomplished? and now that i know and see these things, how is God going to make something good out of it? my answer will be different than yours, but i encourage you to watch the video and see for yourself what this message is all about. i guarantee this message is for everyone.
http://livinghopechurch.com/group/lhc/media_video/player/352

blueberry picking!

2008-08-02T18:46:00.000-07:00

today D, N and i headed out to ridgefield to pick blueberries. a gal at work had told me there was a place that had u-pick berries for about $1 and that they were ripe for the picking. i couldn't resist! my friend sam and her toddlers little man and princessa came along too...princessa liked to eat the berries instead of put them in the bucket : ) i don't blame her though!

N took them directly from the branch : )

D picked the most of all of us at 9.5 pounds

princess and little man picking 'only the blue ones'

sam managed to pick as much as i did even though she had toddlers distracting her!

me out in the 'bush'

welcome!

2008-08-02T01:45:00.000-07:00

as some of you know, i used to host a green blog on blogger. let's just say i got tired of it. not the blogging itself but the research i was doing to be able to post an intelligent article. this experience did allow me to realize that i love blogging and sharing my life with others. this is why i am now creating a personal blog. i will still post green tips on here so don't worry - cause i know you were going to worry : )
this blog will feature daily events in the kingmaulmeland residence, special outings, random thoughts about life, etc. when i was considering what my web address was going to be for this blog i thought of a few. one that stood out was: bloggingmakesmefeellikedoogiehowser. remember doogie? how he journaled on his computer every night before going to bed? that's how blogging makes me feel, but it's good. doogie had to process his thoughts regularly and so do i. here is my forum.