gotta keep singing

i have loved this song for quite some time now, but today it seemed especially fitting seeing what i am going through right now. here are the words:

keep singing
by mercy me

another rainy day
i can't recall having sunshine on my face
all i feel is pain
all i wanna do is walk out of this place

but when i am stuck and i can't move
and i don't know what i should do
when i wonder if i'll ever make it through

i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
you're the one who's keeping my heart beating

i gotta keep singing
i gotta keep praising your name
that's the only way that i find healing

can i climb up in your lap, i don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
i gotta keep singing

can i climb up in your lap, i don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me, you're everything i need
i gotta keep singing


...helps to put things in perspective and remind me that my Healer is always standing by, waiting for me to call on Him. Jesus never promised us a perfect life, and He certainly never said we would never suffer. there is a way to remain hopeful in our hopelessness, though. i am firm in my faith in Christ however hard the waves may crash against me.

i give up

this post is really a downer, so if you don't feel like slitting your wrists today, i suggest you move on to something else.

i give up on trying to be responsible
i give up on investing in people only to have them spit in my face
i give up on hoping people will 'come around'
i give up on feeling guilty for things that aren't even my fault
i give up on trying to be open and share my life with others
i give up on giving people the benefit of the doubt

i give in to being cynical
i give in to being jaded
i give in to being hardened
i give in to being apathetic
i give in to becoming a person i don't even like for the sake of not having to struggle

i am going away with my mom for a few days to regain some type of sanity and life. i figured this would be a better option than joining a cult. not that being with my mom is like being in a cult... that's not the point i am making. the point is that i am extremely low. i have had serious thoughts lately of packing my belongings, as much as would fit in my car, and just moving somewhere. joining a life that my family and friends disapprove of so that i could cut ties and start over. i just want to withdraw from this life and start a new one. maybe then i could feel freer to show my true emotions and be a genuine person. or maybe i would find that no matter where you go, people are always going to let you down and there is no sense in trying to avoid it. learn to live with the bitterness and disappointment.

who knows

simple pleasures, installment 2

i have been lazy about my blog this last week. to be honest, i have been super 'blue' lately which is why i wanted to try to notice and take pleasure in the 'simple pleasures' in life day-to-day. sometimes i let life get away from me and i stop taking the time to enjoy what is going on around me. rest assured, even though i haven't blogged my simple pleasures lately i have still had my eye out.
picking up where i left off : )
saturday 10/10: making yummy, very spicy salsa
sunday:lunch w/ becky at the olive garden
monday:maggie was so incredibly happy i could have sworn her tail was going to fly off her backside
tuesday:beautiful watercolor sunrise
wednesday:i got 4 free compact fluorescent lightbulbs at work
thursday:i watched the office and snl with friends
friday:i wore jeans to work (i do every friday, but it is always a treat)
saturday:mom and i took maggie to the new dog park, the weather and the park were great
sunday:went shopping with mom for new bedroom décor
monday:bible study at the martens - we had good laughs there at the end : )
tuesday:i wore my favorite scarf

there you have it! i encourage you to keep a log for a while of these small things that make you smile. don't just keep looking at forests, keep your eyes open for the trees : )

simple pleasures

so wednesday i posted about my love of my sweatshirt. this prompted me to think about the simple pleasures in life. it is my goal for the next two weeks to find one simple thing every day to be happy about or cheered up by.

wednesday: my hoosier sweatshirt
thursday: i saw two deer crossing lake road
friday: the word snow was said for the first time since last winter

i will keep you all updated and on the edge of your seats...i wonder what tomorrow will bring?? : )

yippie for today

i put on my favorite sweatshirt just now. i will compose a poem about it for you all:

hoosier sweatshirt, so red and so soft

you make me feel cozy with your downy loft

not too big, and not too small

i would wear you all day, even to the mall



there you have it. i love fall, i love my sweatshirt, i love today because of them both.

tagged by sam

10 years ago.....
1.) i was 18
2.) i had just graduated from high school
3.) i was driving a 1991 Ford Crown Victoria
4.) i got my first job
5.) i moved to jackson michigan and went to bible school there

5 Things on my "to do list" today.....
1.) take a shower
2.) go shopping with my mom
3.) clean the kitchen
4.) laundry
5.) drink some coffee...the headache is coming on

5 Snacks I enjoy.....
1.) chips and my homemade Guacamole.
2.) yogurt
3.) coffee
4.) chips
5.) croutons

5 Things I would do if I were a millionaire.....
1.) pay off my parent's house
2.) buy a house
3.) buy a honda pilot
4.) buy a baby
5.) give money to pregnancy resource center and charis counseling services

5 Places I have lived.....only 5? : )
1.) vancouver
2.) escondido, ca
3.) fresno, ca
4.) visalia, ca
5.) peru, in
...6.) jackson, mi

5 Jobs I have had.....
1.) customer service - u.l., jc penney, craft warehouse
2.) barista, shift supervisor, asm - starbucks
3.) youth ministries intern
4.) barista
5.) barista

interesting...?!

so, apparently i need to convert because this online test says i should be muslim. if it weren't for the internet i might have been a christian all my life. thank you, internet quiz for showing me the light.